Do more than talk about; act on it

Happy Friday!

and

Happy Early Halloween!

It is Friday once again. Treat yourself with a candy bar in the spirit of Halloween! There is much I have to catch everyone up on so I will get right to it.

Last Friday, if you didn't know, I got my two wisdom teeth taken out, and I'm still having a little pain or soreness. I have been telling people that I made it through the worst of the pain, and now it's lessening a little bit each day (depending if I took any pain medication...) with the help of ice packs and heated rice socks. Progress!

Today a supervisor of mine retired. Sue Olive, with 37 years (right down to the day) of work, is officially retired. Since I'm better with typing or writing my thoughts, I'll share my thoughts and wishes this way. The first thing we bonded over (that I can remember) was breast cancer. She is a survivor and so is my mom. From then on, we talked about food (specifically ham salad!) and oldies music. I will miss her smiling face and unique laugh and hearing stories about her grandkids. 

I wish you all the best, Sue! Enjoy those adorable grandkids of yours, and come by often (on weekends I'm working, obviously) to catch up!

My aunt Jan Racine turns 60 (I mean 25) today! Even though there are 225 miles (it's accurate, I checked) between us and we haven't seen each other in a while, it doesn't change the love and respect I have for you. It just makes the time I do get to spend with you all the more precious to me. You are one of the many people who helped me when I was a struggling college freshman. Thank you for all the love, all the support, all the advice, and all the things I've learned from you. 

I hope you enjoyed the day doing anything and everything you wanted to do because you do so much for others and you deserve it. Happy birthday!

This post's topic hit me when I was in my Russia/Soviet Union class yesterday. We talked about Leo Tolstoy's short story [K]Holstomer: A Story of a Horse. There is a part in the story, told from a horse's point of view, that talked about the humans needed to have many things, be able to call things and animals "mine", and talk means more than actions. Tolstoy hit the the center of what is still in today's society. He knew this and pointed it out.

Let's take a step back. Am I saying this applies to all human beings? Of course not. A huge majority in society today still believes, whether they will admit to it or not: 

• getting more and more things makes you happier
• talking means more than actions 
• having more "possessions" makes you grander and/or lofty

Growing up I was taught: actions say more than words ever will; things don't make a person; and possessions will only satisfy you for only so long. Those are lessons that are tested almost every day. I need to remind myself I might wish I had the 'in' clothes, shoes, accessories, and etc, but I know that's not what matters. People can have all "that" but not a good work ethic or a kind heart or a honest tongue; than all those "things" mean nothing. 

"You can talk for hours and it won't mean much." Talk is cheap. That's how the saying goes. It may be cliché, but it's an honest one. People can say one thing but immediately contradict it with their actions. When it is said, "People lie," they don't always mean with only words. Saying one thing but doing something to directly contradict it? That's a form a lying that doesn't get much notice. Actions matter. Sure, to a certain extent, words matter. But you aren't going to remember what someone told you if you had a bad day; you're are more likely to remember if someone hugged you, or gave you a shoulder to cry on when you needed it the most. We don't always need words; sometimes we need someone to just be there. 

I can't remember the exact amount, but someone who make/has above a certain amount of money aren't any happier than someone who is struggling to get by. This is something that shouldn't be surprising to anyone. Money's value can only go so far. It can't buy you true friends or a loyal significant other. If you are able to buy that, it's conditional and it won't be dependable. 

In the long run, money won't mean anything in the end. 

In the long run, possessions won't mean anything in the end.

In the long run, words won't mean anything in the end. 

The only things that will matter in the end is the people who stuck by you through it all, and the things you did for others without expecting anything in return. 

Until next week,

 

Thought of the day

Going through the motions is not really living

Happy Fri-Thursday!

For those who are read my blog regularly or semi-regularly, you know this is a day earlier for me. Which is out of the ordinary. 

No, I'm not trying to be an over-achiever. Tomorrow, (today for me) I'm getting my wisdom teeth out. This is exciting news!

It's really not.

This is all I can think about right now. I can't eat from midnight Thursday into Friday until I don't know when.

Even after I'm cleared for food, I have to eat soft foods. On the bright side, you know what that means.....

 ICE CREAM. SMOOTHIES. SHAKES. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Anyway, back to original topic at hand: update on my life. Not much has changed in the last week. But I do have another article published; here's the link. 

I asked myself today, "Melissa, are you actually living or are you just simply going through the motions and sometimes enjoying myself?" It's a valid question. What does it mean to really live? 

Does it mean doing things you have always been too afraid to do?

Does it mean taking the time to enjoy the little things in life?

Does it mean being spontaneous?

Does it mean being daring and maybe illegal?

Does it mean doing all the things you wish you would have done sooner? 

Only 19 years on this planet does not really qualify as enough time to experience life to properly answer that question. Here's what I do know. The difference between living and going through the motions is realizing you want more for yourself out of life than what you have and then having the courage to pursue whatever it is you want with all engines running at full-steam. 

For most people, myself included, the first part isn't the hard part usually. More often than not, it's the actually doing it part that's harder. The reason for this? Because it's real. 

Some of us, we say we will do something, like make a change to start living in the moment, but we can't always follow through. There are various reasons why. An extremely common one is we are scared. 

It's true. You are most likely lying to yourself, if you disagree with me. We are scared of making that huge of change in our lives. What we tend to forget is that it's okay to be scared. We get to a certain point in our lives we think we won't ever get scared again, and if we do, it's a sign of weakness. Those assumptions are clearly wrong. Getting scared means what's happening is real and you realize you could lose it (or someone). 

Is that a sign of weakness? No. That's couldn't be further from the truth. It's normal. In our younger years, our fears were most likely things like the dark, clowns, spiders, snakes and etc. Sometime as we get older, those childhood fears change into less concrete items and more abstract items we are (most likely) aren't able to stop from happening like losing a loved one or not being good enough for someone or falling in love.

What helps with really living and getting the most out of your life?

 And take one step at a time. As the saying goes, "Rome wasn't built in a day."

Until next week,

Thought of the day

Sometimes we have to learn make the sacrifice

Happy FRIDAY!

Hello, all readers of mine! Did you read that top line, because if you didn't, I suggest you read it again. JBIF (Jumping Because It's Friday) is the new acronym I just came up with. Another reason for you to enjoy today is the fact is you survived this week with all its trip-ups and stumbles. YAY! GO YOU.

Another reason for me to be happy is that I survived this week of three tests or mid-terms. Although, I have two tests next week, but I will remember I can do it and survive.

Other reasons: IT'S HOMECOMING FOR UNI. That's pretty exciting. I will be working during the parade and half the game, but life isn't always going to work around my work schedule. Sacrifice is a part of life, and I am continuously experiencing and learning that. Life lessons sometimes need to be taken with a smile plastered on your face.

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The main focus of this post is to talk about a topic many people experience frequently- some more than others- if their day-to-day lives. It's something that can be a hard or easy decision for people to make. Depending on how the decision will affect yourself and/or others in your life, it can almost be a decision someone makes without even thinking about it. 

Sometimes the effects of our decisions we make have consequences we didn't anticipate or we couldn't avoid. We don't always realize how the decision we make now will be worth it out in the end. 

 Sacrifice

In life, this something that can be guaranteed as something you will have to go through. The cool thing about sacrifice is that it's a life-long process, and it's not something we figure out once and think it will be the same situation every time. Circumstances will be different. Context around the decision will be different. Your mind-set will be different. 

Parents. I realize all parents are not like mine. They make so many sacrifices for their children. You want that last piece of cake? Go ahead. It's almost an automatic given that parents put the needs and wants of their children ahead of their own. Some parents don't mind making because they believe they are doing it out of love for their children and just want to see their children happy. Others believe differently. It's for this reason (among others) that I'm thankful for my parents and all the sacrifices they have made for me, because they didn't have to do it. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

Military and other emergency response people. While some might have strong opinions when it comes to these people and their actions, I believe we all could agree on the fact they are putting their lives on the line to protect us and that's something we should recognize that brave sacrifice. What we often forget is the family and friends of these brave people who make the incredible sacrifice that they do. I don't say this as often as I should, but I'm thankful for those brave people. Thank you, members of the military and other emergency response teams for ensuring my safety and getting me assistance when I need it.

Siblings (specifically older for me). This is true for me. They have sacrificed nights out to watch me for my parents. Or the times Mom said they had to take me with them if they went somewhere (obviously having your little sister tag along wasn't cool). For the times when they put up with the stupid and maybe embarrassing things I would say about them in front of their friends or someone they liked liked. Also for the times they let me watch whatever Disney channel movie happened to be premiering that night. They have made so many sacrifices for me, and I appreciate for putting up with my antics and quirks. Thank you, Billy and Rachel.

Family and friends. For those who don't already know, I have many quirks and strange aspects of my personality. There are a couple that I think my family and friends have a hard time with. No-filter on what comes out of my mouth sometimes (re: most of the time) and that I talk to myself. Sacrificing their time to be patient with me while I likely backtrack what I maybe should have filtered. Also they sacrifice their reputation when they are with me out in public and I say something without thinking or if I start talking to myself in public. Thank you, family and friends.

Take the time to thank those who have made sacrifices for you.

Until next time,

(Oh God. The Toy Story 3 feels are coming back to me! Ahh!)















Thought of the day

 

Siblings: forced by nature; friends by choice

Happy Friday!

Guess what? You made it through another week of life. And if that's not something to celebrate, I don't know what to tell you. It's been quite a week for me, and I'm ready for a break. Strangely, I'm usually always ready for the weekend.

Here's the links to my latest articles from The Odyssey. 

A little update on my life. On Wednesday, I had an interview with STEM on campus for a student communications assistant position. It went as well it could, and I'm hoping things will work out like they should. If I get the position, it would be an amazing opportunity for me. If not, I can take comfort in knowing I tried and I gained more experience with interviews. I'm just trying to keep a positive mindset. 

Also on Wednesday, my big brother, Billy, turned 26 years old! It's hard to find the words to describe how much I love this guy. He's been there for me when I had my accident and whenever I needed advice about anything from car troubles to stressing over classes. He's not perfect (no one is), but he's taught me right from wrong, how to be sarcastic, how to ride a bike, and so much more. 

Thank you for always being you, Billy! 

"Bro.ther (person): 1. a role model for learning how to be a good person. 2. a model to compare potential boyfriends against. 3. a best friend for life."

Onto my topic of this post which is....I don't know. I know I have called wolf many times when it comes to saying that. There are too many thoughts going through my mind for to pick just one to talk about. 

Okay. After procrastinating long enough, I decided on a topic. This topic is something that many people take for granted sometimes and play a big part in our lives. We sometimes forget to take the time to thank them for all they put up with. Something I have touched on a little bit already.

Siblings

I realize that not some people are not as fortunate as I am with two older siblings. Sometimes I forget to thank them for all they have taught me, all the good and bad times, all the crap they have had and continue to put up with me, all the love and support I have received, and all the times they needed to snap me out a bad mood. 

Sometimes, we fight like no other which makes my mom just shake her head most of the time. But there are other times we are getting along, laughing, and just enjoying time with each other. It's those times where my mom just looks between us and smiles that secret smile of hers. I have thought about that smile so many times and what it might mean. My theory is that she's happy and content with her children getting along and experiencing what it is like to means to have someone who will be there no matter what. 

I saw somewhere that asked the question, "Do you ever look at someone and they could be doing the simplest thing and think to yourself, 'Man, I really love you.'" That happens with my siblings and extended to my family. Sometimes I love just watching them all getting along, making memories, enjoying each others company, and I am completely content with my life in those moments. 

Thank you, Rachel and Billy for putting up with me.

P.S. You are sort of stuck with me either way. 

Until next week,

Thought of the day

Is social media a reliable source of news?

                                                                       

                                           Happy Friday!

For the ones who are dedicated readers, you would know that this post is a little late. It's been a stressful week once again, unfortunately. Also, if I make any mistakes, my apologies, I am working from my phone because I didn't want to drag my laptop out my bag.

I hope all as is well with my readers. 

Today, with all the seemingly never-ending violence on college campus, I want to talk about social media involvement with it. Social media can be a powerful tool for spreading the news quickly but not always accurately. For some people, social media is how they get updated when something happens. It's not a bad thing. I know this is how I get updated sometimes because I'm so busy doing homework, working, etc. that I don't hear about something until someone tells me and/or I see it trending on social media.

There is one particular way word of mouth and social media are alike. Sometimes the events sparks assumptions or guesses that spiral out of control. "I heard that is also happened during the event." "Well, I heard that this happened from so and so." This makes it hard to determine what the truth is and what's false. For this reason, social media should not probably be used to cite where you learned about an event. Most people have good intentions to be unofficial news reporters, but we should leave things alone and keep our guesses about what happened to ourselves. That doesn't mean I think we shouldn't be involved and stay updated as much as possible and give our condolences to the respective parties involved. I believe we should let the people involved or closely related to talk about what happened. 

Why do we do this? A possibility is directly related to social media and other advancements changing us. We don't have much privacy these days; once something is online, it can't be taken back. An obvious solution is to watch what you put out on social media, and that's the one that works 100 percent of the time. We are constantly wanting to know how other people are doing and be in the know. We want to see if other people are doing better than us, and if it seems like they are, we get jealous and forget to appreciate what we have going for ourselves.

I'm guilty of that. I would almost bet that almost everyone is guilty of that. And it's so easy to be because you don't want to post about your bad day when others are posting about getting into relationships or graduating college. You don't want to look bad. We get selective about what we post to the point when we are almost lying about how our lives are really going. It's for that reason I respect people who are seemingly honest about their lives on social media. I'm trying to be honest about my life on social media. Am I always successful? No, but I'm trying and that's what counts.

  

Until next week,

Thought of the day

Why does it take a tragedy to bring people together?

Happy Friday!

Well, another week in the books. This week wasn't as stressful as last week, but there have been many other issues that have stressed me out. But, as you can probably can tell, I'm still here and breathing and surviving.

I hope all is well with all my readers. Before I get today's topic, I want to take a moment to tell you thank you for reading my blog. It doesn't matter to me if it is one post or all my posts; every little bit counts to me.

Here is a link to my latest article with The Odyssey Online. 

What I want to talk about today is something I talked about a few posts ago. This topic is something that I feel strongly about, and if you can't handle it, please feel free to stop reading. It won't hurt my feelings; I would understand if you felt the need to stop. 

I was completely speechless when I heard. Even right now, as I type this, I am still shocked. It's hard to type this, but I would like to talk about the serious tragedy that suicide is. 

On Wednesday, a tragedy struck the UNI family. Caitlyn Burns, a freshmen, took her own life by hanging herself in her room. 

Can you imagine being the roommate, who was her best friend from high school, finding her body? Can you hear the screams? Can you picture the distraught and disbelieving look on her face?

Can you imagine being the twin brother and finding out that your literal other half killed herself? Can you hear the silent tears flowing down his face? Can you imagine what's going through his mind right now?

Can you imagine being the resident assistant of the floor and finding one of the girls you were supposed to help and be there for? Can you blame her if she doesn't want to be an RA anymore?

Can you picture the person who had to call her parents and tell them that their happy college girl killed herself? Can you picture that person cursing their job at that moment?

Can you? Because I can.

I didn't know her, but does not mean it hurts any less nor does not mean it is any less tragic. She still was a beautiful human. She was another person who most likely felt she couldn't take the pain anymore. 

Honestly, I wonder how many suicides it will take for people to realize that mental illness is real and is not something people make up. I wonder how many suicides it will take for people to realize that it is not okay to say hurtful things or make jokes about mental illness. I wonder how many suicides it will take to change the people who believe that taking your life is the cowardly way out of life.

After this news blown up on social media, UNI came together as a family and supported each other. (Just another reason that reassures me that I chose the right college.) It didn't matter how well you knew her; the only thing that mattered is that you were there and supported one another through this. 

The biggest question that has been on my mind ever since I heard the news: why does it take a tragedy to bring people together? I posed this question to a friend of mine. She said that this is how society works most unfortunately. And she's right on both counts. This is how society works, and it's wrong. We don't always realize that we are going through our own versions of Hell. We need to come together as a society to be there for each other in any way we can. 

I ask only this of you. 

• Go tell your friends you love them and appreciate them. 

• Go call your parents and tell them thanks for all they did for you and you never meant "I hate you" when you said it. 

• Go call your grandparents and ask how their day went and respond with how you are doing. 

• Go call your siblings and tell them how much they mean to you. 

• Smile or compliment a complete stranger. You just might make their day.

Caitlyn, may you finally be a peace now. See you again. 

You are never alone. 

Whatever you need, we'll be there for you however we can.

Until next week, 

Thought of the day

Spontaneity is the spice of life

Happy Frid- Saturday!

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Well, Grumpy Cat, you try working on weekends. Good? 

If you are a follower of my blog, then you would know that this post is a day late. My day yesterday didn't allow me the time to write my post for the week. Better late then never, right?

This was a stressful week. I had three exams this week: two on Tuesday and one on Thursday. 

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I feel like my professors got together and planned it that way (not really, but the image is funny). Of the grades I do I know of, I did well on both my exams on Tuesday and I have yet to hear about the latest exam. Fingers crossed I did well.

Here is my latest The Odyssey Online article link. 

To be completely honest, I have clue what I'm going to write about in this post. An idea has suddenly came to mind and I'm just going to roll with it before I lose it.

A little preface to the topic: this is something I am actively trying to do more of because, if you know how I am, my brain is too analytical for my own good sometimes (re: all the time). I forget that saying, "spontaneity is the spice of life," 

I don't think I'm the only person who faces this issue. We, as a society, tend to get too caught up in our routines and planning our lives out that we forget to do anything spontaneously or just because. All actions are driven to profit or benefit us in some way or another. While that is an important observation to point out, it doesn't necessarily make it right or true.

In a previous post, I talked about how we are living in a fast-paced world where we want everything done and we want it done now. I won't go into detail about the reasons as to why I believe that, but I will say that we forget that saying, "Spontaneity is the spice of life." A possible reason we don't like spontaneity is because of the myth commonly assumed that it has to be big, grandeur gestures events or activity. A lesson I have learned from experience is that it rarely means big, showy gestures; instead, it, most of the time, means the smallest gestures or surprises means more. To quote a favorite TV show of mine, "It's the little things." Yes, big surprises or gestures are nice but are not idealistic for real life sometimes.

Spontaneity is one of those rare things that applies to every aspect of our lives: marriage, dating, friendships, work, family, children, and everything else.

Maybe, instead of planning an almost routine date night where you two go out to dinner and then a movie, you try something you both have never done before.

Maybe, instead of having a boring Sunday afternoon-in, go for a surprise day-trip some unknown destination or let your head do the directing for you rather than the GPS.

Maybe, instead of the weekly dinner with a college-friend, go out roller-skating.

Maybe, instead of the traditional family Thanksgiving food and activities, do something completely unrelated to Thanksgiving.

Maybe send flowers to your significant other just because or call your mom to just talk about anything or wish a stranger on the street a happy birthday.  

What people forget about being spontaneous is that it doesn't have to happen all the time or become routine; then it loses the fun and a little surprise aspect. And maybe we forget to be spontaneous because it is not a part of a routine. That's a valid reason, not to be confused with the word "excuse". Maybe make it a goal to be more spontaneous .

 Reasons to be more spontaneous: fun, easy, and inexpensive.

Until next Friday,

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Thought of the day

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