Why does it take a tragedy to bring people together?

Happy Friday!

Well, another week in the books. This week wasn't as stressful as last week, but there have been many other issues that have stressed me out. But, as you can probably can tell, I'm still here and breathing and surviving.

I hope all is well with all my readers. Before I get today's topic, I want to take a moment to tell you thank you for reading my blog. It doesn't matter to me if it is one post or all my posts; every little bit counts to me.

Here is a link to my latest article with The Odyssey Online. 

What I want to talk about today is something I talked about a few posts ago. This topic is something that I feel strongly about, and if you can't handle it, please feel free to stop reading. It won't hurt my feelings; I would understand if you felt the need to stop. 

I was completely speechless when I heard. Even right now, as I type this, I am still shocked. It's hard to type this, but I would like to talk about the serious tragedy that suicide is. 

On Wednesday, a tragedy struck the UNI family. Caitlyn Burns, a freshmen, took her own life by hanging herself in her room. 

Can you imagine being the roommate, who was her best friend from high school, finding her body? Can you hear the screams? Can you picture the distraught and disbelieving look on her face?

Can you imagine being the twin brother and finding out that your literal other half killed herself? Can you hear the silent tears flowing down his face? Can you imagine what's going through his mind right now?

Can you imagine being the resident assistant of the floor and finding one of the girls you were supposed to help and be there for? Can you blame her if she doesn't want to be an RA anymore?

Can you picture the person who had to call her parents and tell them that their happy college girl killed herself? Can you picture that person cursing their job at that moment?

Can you? Because I can.

I didn't know her, but does not mean it hurts any less nor does not mean it is any less tragic. She still was a beautiful human. She was another person who most likely felt she couldn't take the pain anymore. 

Honestly, I wonder how many suicides it will take for people to realize that mental illness is real and is not something people make up. I wonder how many suicides it will take for people to realize that it is not okay to say hurtful things or make jokes about mental illness. I wonder how many suicides it will take to change the people who believe that taking your life is the cowardly way out of life.

After this news blown up on social media, UNI came together as a family and supported each other. (Just another reason that reassures me that I chose the right college.) It didn't matter how well you knew her; the only thing that mattered is that you were there and supported one another through this. 

The biggest question that has been on my mind ever since I heard the news: why does it take a tragedy to bring people together? I posed this question to a friend of mine. She said that this is how society works most unfortunately. And she's right on both counts. This is how society works, and it's wrong. We don't always realize that we are going through our own versions of Hell. We need to come together as a society to be there for each other in any way we can. 

I ask only this of you. 

• Go tell your friends you love them and appreciate them. 

• Go call your parents and tell them thanks for all they did for you and you never meant "I hate you" when you said it. 

• Go call your grandparents and ask how their day went and respond with how you are doing. 

• Go call your siblings and tell them how much they mean to you. 

• Smile or compliment a complete stranger. You just might make their day.

Caitlyn, may you finally be a peace now. See you again. 

You are never alone. 

Whatever you need, we'll be there for you however we can.

Until next week, 

Thought of the day

Spontaneity is the spice of life

Happy Frid- Saturday!

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Well, Grumpy Cat, you try working on weekends. Good? 

If you are a follower of my blog, then you would know that this post is a day late. My day yesterday didn't allow me the time to write my post for the week. Better late then never, right?

This was a stressful week. I had three exams this week: two on Tuesday and one on Thursday. 

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I feel like my professors got together and planned it that way (not really, but the image is funny). Of the grades I do I know of, I did well on both my exams on Tuesday and I have yet to hear about the latest exam. Fingers crossed I did well.

Here is my latest The Odyssey Online article link. 

To be completely honest, I have clue what I'm going to write about in this post. An idea has suddenly came to mind and I'm just going to roll with it before I lose it.

A little preface to the topic: this is something I am actively trying to do more of because, if you know how I am, my brain is too analytical for my own good sometimes (re: all the time). I forget that saying, "spontaneity is the spice of life," 

I don't think I'm the only person who faces this issue. We, as a society, tend to get too caught up in our routines and planning our lives out that we forget to do anything spontaneously or just because. All actions are driven to profit or benefit us in some way or another. While that is an important observation to point out, it doesn't necessarily make it right or true.

In a previous post, I talked about how we are living in a fast-paced world where we want everything done and we want it done now. I won't go into detail about the reasons as to why I believe that, but I will say that we forget that saying, "Spontaneity is the spice of life." A possible reason we don't like spontaneity is because of the myth commonly assumed that it has to be big, grandeur gestures events or activity. A lesson I have learned from experience is that it rarely means big, showy gestures; instead, it, most of the time, means the smallest gestures or surprises means more. To quote a favorite TV show of mine, "It's the little things." Yes, big surprises or gestures are nice but are not idealistic for real life sometimes.

Spontaneity is one of those rare things that applies to every aspect of our lives: marriage, dating, friendships, work, family, children, and everything else.

Maybe, instead of planning an almost routine date night where you two go out to dinner and then a movie, you try something you both have never done before.

Maybe, instead of having a boring Sunday afternoon-in, go for a surprise day-trip some unknown destination or let your head do the directing for you rather than the GPS.

Maybe, instead of the weekly dinner with a college-friend, go out roller-skating.

Maybe, instead of the traditional family Thanksgiving food and activities, do something completely unrelated to Thanksgiving.

Maybe send flowers to your significant other just because or call your mom to just talk about anything or wish a stranger on the street a happy birthday.  

What people forget about being spontaneous is that it doesn't have to happen all the time or become routine; then it loses the fun and a little surprise aspect. And maybe we forget to be spontaneous because it is not a part of a routine. That's a valid reason, not to be confused with the word "excuse". Maybe make it a goal to be more spontaneous .

 Reasons to be more spontaneous: fun, easy, and inexpensive.

Until next Friday,

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Thought of the day

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A moment of silence is when one hears best

Happy Friday! 

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Once again it is finally Friday. So give yourself a pat on the back for surviving. While some people find this stupid, it does serve as a reminder that you are here and surviving by doing the best you can.

A quick update on my life: I have another article for you all to read - 500 Words on Stress and Anxiety. Early into the semester my allergies acted up terribly, and now they are making an appearance again. (Apparently, they love making me feel miserable.) For all you visual learners, just picture me trying type while sneezing every 10 minutes and sniffling every other second. For all you audio learners, ah, so not going there right now.

School/classes are stressful as they usually are in the first couple of weeks (re: all semester), but I'm pushing through as best I can in the way I know how.

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Stressed is desserts spelled backward

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

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For the day job slave drivers: you made it through another work week. For most college students: you made it through the second week of the semester (only 14 more to go!) For retired folk: you made it through another week of doing whatever the hell you want. 

In my last post, I mentioned a great writing opportunity with the Odyssey @ UNI. Also I mentioned I applied and waited to hear back. And I have heard back.

I am now a published writer with the Odyssey @ UNI!

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That gif does not do justice to my reaction to this news. When I found out, my day was going about as well as a fish's attempt to climb a tree or in other words it was a definite struggle bus day. But when I found out I got the position as writer with UNI's chapter of The Odyssey, it literally made my day. That doesn't mean I didn't have any more struggles or challenges; it meant that when those struggles happened, I remembered "You are a writer for the Odyssey @ UNI." Yay for progress!

Here's the links to the two articles that are published: Dear Freshmen, Sincerely: Someone Who Knows and 5 Reasons to Visit the Rod Library.

But, Melissa, since you are writing for The Odyssey @ UNI, will you still keep writing blog posts?

Answer: have no fear! I will keep blogging. Like I said when I first started this blog in May, this is where I get to writing about my personal life and whatever I want to. I don't feel guilty talking about my personal life.

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Now onto the post topic. Today, there is a growing population of college students (myself included) experiencing anxiety, stress, depression, and the like. In 2014 article from the Iowa Center for Public Affairs, it states from a 2013 survey showed 14.6 percent of UNI students received services, and the national average is 15.6 percent; UNI students ever diagnosed with depression is the same national percentage at 18.6 percent. 

Recently a professor confided in me that many students are experiencing/suffering from anxiety and related topics. This really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. Why? We are putting an extreme amount of pressure on students in this day in age. 

Students are expected to do all the readings, write all the (sometimes) pointless papers, study for that comprehensive final, and participate in that group project where there is only one person doing all the work for (generally) five classes.

Oh! And students are expected to get involved in many organizations which require about three hours a week.* 

Anybody feeling stressed just reading that? I do. 

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*Not including: making the time to hang out with friends, making the time to check in with parents or siblings, if the students want to get A's or their definition of good grades, working to pay what financial aid didn't cover, or if the students are questioning if the major they declared is right for them anymore. 

Um, Melissa, don't they have to learn how to manage their time?

Yes, they do. But when everything is overwhelming to the point of them going back to their dorm room after class and crying because they feel so alone and stressed, there is clearly something else going on. 

And if you don't agree with me, then I guess you are entitled to own opinion, however wrong it is. 

Not only is anxiety and depression is affecting students, but also the faculty including professors, instructors, and so on.

As someone who suffers from anxiety, here are some options for those who are scared out their minds.  

*Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, professor, etc. Let them know what's going (not many people have the ability to read minds).

*Make an appointment with your on-campus health center. Be proactive!

*Let your professors know about your anxiety. Most of the time, the professors are understanding and will likely help you in any way they can.

*Find a cheesy saying or quote to repeat to yourself when you are feeling stressed. (Trust me on this one. It's something I'm working on.)

*Plan out your weeks. Make time to study, eat, shower, got to class, do homework. Set aside an hour or two a week to take a break from life.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

REMEMBER THAT.

Until next Friday,

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Thought of the Day

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Cookies, cakes, and choices: which to choose?

Happy Friday, internet explorers!

And no, I don't mean the Internet application that barely exists anymore.

Oh! I'm so glad you noticed that intended pun.

Before I get started with today's post, I would like ask how everyone has been doing. It's my hope that life is treating you all well. I realized that I'm the one who is always telling you how my life is going that I forget to ask how every one else is. My apologies, dear readers. It will be added to my list of goals: to ask my readers more about their lives and how they are going.

I know this is going to sound hypocritical (and I'm sorry). I just wanted to give you all an update of my life. I OFFICIALLY MADE IT THROUGH MY FIRST WEEK OF MY SOPHOMORE YEAR OF COLLEGE. GO ME. (Normally, I'm not a user of the caps lock key, but that statement seemed worthy of using caps lock.) Now, were there some moments when I was so stressed that I wanted to quit college and join the circus? Yes, but I pushed myself to get through them. This is also an amazing feat for me.

Also, an amazing opportunity is in front of me at the moment. Before I get to the point, I would like to tell you some background information. While I was working this summer at the library, a gentleman asked if we checked out laptops that had a Webcam. Politely, I said, "Of course," and handed him one. When he returned it, he had mentioned that webcam worked and the interview he needed it for went well. To make small conversation and, out of pure curiosity, I asked him what the interview was for. He asked me if I had ever heard of The Odyssey, and said, "Yes, I love that site!" He proceeded to tell me that the interview was for The Odyssey to come to UNI. Of course, you know all know I love to write, I got extremely excited, and it must have showed because he asked I like to write. I told him that I did, and he asked me if I would like to write for it, and I said that I would. 

Today, I put myself out there, so to speak, and emailed the editor-in-chief (the guy I talked to at the library) to tell him I was very much interested in applying to be a writer or photography. And surprisingly enough, he remembered my interest. I then made the decision to apply to be a writer or photographer for the The Odyssey @ UNI.

And now I wait to hear back.  

(For those who don't know, I am not a big fan of talking about myself. So that was a lot for me. I'm good for quite a long time.)

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Today's topic is about about a word that can be unbelievably scary and paralyzing for some people (aka: me), but for others don't even blink. This is something that I can promise you that face every day of your life whether you are aware of this or not.

Choice

"Choice: (noun) an act or instance of choosing; selection" (cited from dictionary.com). In life, we face many choices. Sometimes we make the right one; sometimes we make the wrong one; sometimes we don't make one at all. 

What do you think of when you hear the word? Does it bring up good memories like "I'm so glad I made the choice to go to college" or maybe does it stir up some bad moments of your life like "I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe he liked me"?

For many, you probably have had your fair share of choices: good ones, bad ones, and the one you might be too scared to take. 

For when you feel like you made a good choice: Congratulations! It's something to be proud of. Really. It is. That feeling you get when you know deep down that feels right is amazing and powerful. And sometimes we don't revel in that feeling more. 

For when you feel like you made a bad choice: You are not a failure. You must tell yourself this. Sometimes we mess up. We are humans, not robots. Sometimes we get it wrong. And that's okay. The important thing to take away from your experience is that you put yourself out there and took a chance. And the second important thing to take away? You learned something whether it be that you can't do the splits or that you should have studied a little bit harder for that test. The only to move on from it, is to actually move on, and stop dwelling on something you likely can't change.

For when you feel like you are too scared or nervous to take: You might never know if you don't try. The possibilities are at your front door. Rarely does that happen, but when it does, it's best to open your door and welcome them. Sometimes you might lock that metaphoric door and run the other direction. And that's okay. Maybe you weren't quite ready. Give yourself some time, and when a similar opportunity comes around, you should tell yourself "I may not be fully ready, but I just have to take a chance and let it play out as it should."

Sometimes you have many choices and there will be times when you don't have a choice.

Trust your gut; it's usually right.

Until next week,

 

Thought of the day

Dear, freshmen: sincerely, someone who knows

Happy Fri-Saturday!

Hello, dear readers of mine. If you are regular to my blog, you would realize that this post is a little late. There are a couple of reasons for this.

• WORK. Ugh but not really. For those of you who are not familiar with UNI, we had our first ever UNI Now for freshman and transfer students. This program's idea is to get new-to-campus students more familiar with campus which in turn is likely to help them feel more comfortable and at home.

• FAMILY. Since my sister was kind enough to help me with moving to my room, I thought it was only fair to return the favor. Although I did miss the actual moving part, I did help with the unpacking. 

• FAMILY PART 2. From helping my sister, I went home-home to do some odds and ends. Mainly I needed a rug, but do you think I remembered to grab one? Nope. I got back to campus, and remember I needed a rug. Oh well. I'm not too worried about it.

 If you include driving time, it was quite a long day for me. 

Speaking of moving back to college, I have a few tips and goals for freshmen (and/or every college student).

Dear freshmen, 

Welcome to college. For many of you, this is probably this is not the first time you heard that. Some will know a little bit about college life from their older siblings. Stop. Stop right there. Your experiences will be different from theirs. If there is anything that is guaranteed in college, it is that. And you know what else? The experiences you have will be different from your friends and fellow classmates.

And that's completely normal and okay. 

Here are a few tips and advice, or what you wish someone had told you. 

<> Get to know your professors. I'm being serious. They are, most of the time, cool people. Ask about their experiences and for advice. You are stuck with them (unless you drop the class) for almost 16 weeks; so you might as well get to know them a little in the process. Plus, sometimes there are benefits of getting to know your professors personally.

<> You may not be best friends with your roommate(s). And that's okay. Really. But if there are serious problems occurring, then by all means, change rooms. 

<>  Read your syllabus all your classes closely. Most professors give you an outline of course assignments, big projects, and the like. Pay attention to the grading scales because professors differ in their grading scales. What may be an "A" in one class may be a "B+" in another class.

<> Don't go to the bookstore for your textbooks. 90 percent of the time they will rip you off. You are poor enough as college students. Go online to Amazon or Chegg or Half Priced Books. Or check your college library (yes, those do exist!) because sometimes they will have the same edition or a slightly older edition of your required textbooks. Sometimes you will have to buy books from the bookstore, but try to get as many as your books from other places.

<> You don't have to go out every weekend but don't be a complete hermit. From personal experience, it doesn't help you by always being cooped up in your room or by too focused on your studies. On the flip side of things, you can still experience college by staying in and just watching Netflix and pigging out on junk food with some friends. 

<> Watch what you eat. Freshman 15 is a real thing. It's easy to get into the habit of always getting ice cream or dessert at the dining center. Try challenging yourself by limiting the number of times you get dessert to once or twice a week. 

<> Take advantage of the wellness center. You don't have to work-out hard-core every day; you will tire yourself out quickly. It is beneficial to get into the habit of going to the wellness center to walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes or run the track for 15 minutes. Mix-up your routine. Not only are you helping yourself physically but also you are helping your mental state. Exercising helps your mind de-stress and relieve anxiety. 

<> Learn how to do laundry. THIS IS KEY. You are old enough to know how to do your own laundry. This aspect of college forces you to grow up and take more adult responsibilities. It also would be helpful to get into the semi-routine of picking a day or two you would have time to do it. Who knows, you might actually get to the point you look forward to do your laundry because it means getting away from studying or reading. Also set a timer to switch/take your laundry out as soon as it's done. Everybody appreciates this, especially if it's busy.

<> Get out of your comfort fort. College is the time to experiment. Learn about other people's cultures. Try foods you never would have ever tried. Experience new ways of doing something. Find what works for you and what doesn't. Take that class that sounds interesting to you. 

<> ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS have snacks, a reusable water-bottle, and headphones in your bag. If there is one golden piece of advice I have received, it is that. Snacks: for those back-to-back classes or middle of the day and you need an energy boost. Water-bottle: you need to stay hydrated and you are helping out the environment by not using plastic bottles. Headphones: for when you need, for whatever reason, the escape to an audiobook or your favorite playlist on Pandora. 

Guys, I could go on and on, but there are some things you need to learn on your own and/or experience for yourself. 

One last tip: don't forget to call your parents, siblings, and grandparents. Let them know how you are doing and what you have been experiencing. 

Sincerely, take it from someone who knows

Until next week,

 

Thought of the day

  

Dear readers...

Happy Friday!

I would like to take a moment to thank each and every one who reads my blog. Whether it's every once in a while or every post, it means the world to me that people want to hear what I have to say. It's an amazing and empowering feeling. I can finally say: "I have a voice, and this is what it's saying!" 

Thank you for giving me that feeling!

In the spirit of being thankful, I would like to take the time to list only some of the many things I have to do thankful for.*

*In no particular order :)

Things I have been blessed with: 

a FAMILY who loves and supports me

a few FRIENDS who I can count on being there when it matters 

a JOB that I can make money and be given the experience

a ROOF and BED to stay and sleep

the OPPORTUNITY to get an education

the A/C on hot days like today 

all the SACRIFICES people have made for me

ELECTRICITY to allow me to charge and power anything I need

WI-FI and/or INTERNET that allows me to connect to other people

BOOKS when I need an escape from life

MUSIC when I need to get out of my head for a little while

GOD and all the ANGELS in heaven looking out for me every day

I could go on forever (okay, maybe not forever) but that wouldn't necessarily be a good use of a post.

We take things and people for granted. Don't deny it. I can't deny that fact any more than I can deny the fact my name is Melissa Curtis.

I don't mean any harsh feelings by saying that. It's a fact or statement that is open to interpretation. Whether we mean to or not, we do take things and people for granted. We forget that life does not owe anything. The same can be (most of the time) said about people. Being a good father or mother or sister or brother or friend is a choice. Meaning, they don't have to be to you. 

It's for this reason that we have days like Mother's Day and Father's Day and the lesser-known Grandparent's Day. We take advantage of the fact they will always be there. There will be times when they can't be there or are no longer able to be there for us. 

This does not only to parents and grandparents. This applies to everyone: friends, family, pets, teachers, professors, mentors, godparents, doctors, nurses, dentists, etc. Or basically everyone in your life or who have ever been or will be in your life. Please remember to thank them for all they do. They all have helped shape who you are today. 

If you read this and all you see on the news are terrible things, click here and read the article. Here is your one good piece of news. A nice reminder that there are good people out in this world that is seemingly full of hate and destruction.

Sometimes we underestimate what a simple "thank you" will do.

Until next Friday,

Thought of the day