Make sure you're seeing the world instead of "just looking"

Happy Friday!

Readers! It's been a couple of weeks. I hope you are all doing well. It once again is Friday. And I couldn't be happier it is. In this past week or so, I was reminded again that life, the wild ride it is, is short. So, the thing to take away from this: never take the people in your life, especially your family, for granted and let yourself "live" a little once in a while.

Well, school is almost here again. Part of me will welcome the routine again, but the other part of me will not welcome the busyness and craziness that comes with school, classes, studying, work, ex-curricular clubs, among other obligations, especially with it being the start of my second semester of junior year. I need to figuring out what jobs I would like and start looking for jobs. 

Here are the links to my latest Odyssey articles: Let's Stop Perpetuating Stereotypes and Losing Is A Part Of Life.

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I'm sorry to my readers that I have not updated in a couple of weeks. My life is increasingly busy with balancing two jobs, five classes, homework and reading, organizations, and other things. I hardly have time to breath, let alone trying to write a blog post. Then I guess I will have to change. I will try to keep posting every Friday; but, on the off chance I get super busy and forget, please know I will update as soon as I can. Your patience is much needed as I navigate the new changes and challenges presented to me due to getting older and closer to graduation.

That being said, I've had many blog post ideas run in and out of my head. Today, I would like to talk about the difference between "looking" and "seeing" and connecting it to the tragedy that happened 15 years ago. As I take my digital imaging class, I'm learning that there's a different between looking at something and actually seeing it. So often we go through our day just looking. If I asked you to describe the person you passed while walking to class or running by, could you? More often than not, you wouldn't be able too. And there's nothing wrong with that. You are likely preoccupied with your task at hand, and your brain can only recognize so much too avoid overloading your senses. Seeing takes a little bit more time and energy. With taking the time to slow down and really take in your surrounds, even if for a couple of minutes, you would be surprised just how much you've missed or never noticed before.

Now, how does this apply or have anything to do with the tragic events that happened 15 years ago today. What usually happens it takes a tragic event or hearing devastating news to get to us to wake up and take notice of our surroundings. You know how it's said it's hard to look away at car crash even though you know you need to but just can't bring yourself to do it? It's the same thing. It's almost as if time slows way down or even stops completely and you're seeing things or scenes for the first time. While I can't remember much, I hear stories from my parents, older siblings, grandparents. My mom? She was at home with me because I was sick. My dad? Sitting down to eat breakfast after getting off his shift at work. It was almost as if their lives were paused and they took the time to notice those around them. In movies we see this so often that we are numb to it or roll our eyes at the cliche. It's true. One of the things Hollywood got right.

Please take some time out of your day and remember those whose lives that were forever changed by that tragic day.

Until next week,

Thought of the day

Listen to yourself and take that mental health day

Happy Saturday!

Readers! I realize this post is a day late. I'll get to why that it is in a little bit. Hopefully you all had a good week, or if you had a bad one, I hope you could find something good in each day. Someone (the name escapes me, as I write this) once said, "Every day might not be good, but there's good in every day." Probably messed that up, but you get what I mean. 

Okay. Why this post is a day late: it is spring break for me; I worked 33 hours this week which is more than I usually work in a week; I went to go see my sister and her boyfriend after I got off work yesterday. On Facebook, I see people posting pictures of spending their break down in the southern states or out of the country. Truly I am happy for them because if that's how they want to spend their break, then go them! I, on the other hand, started my break by spending time with family (and four-wheeling!) and playing Cribbage with my parents and grandma, then coming back to school to work because the car repairs can't be paid with smiles (although I wish it could; that would be so easy!), and I topped off my break by spending the night in with my sister and her boyfriend. Was it perfect? Maybe not, but it was ideal for me. 

My most recent Odyssey article link: Not Everyone Grew Up the Way You Did.

My mentor, Ma (Marcia) Powell, has been and continues to be a blessing in my life. She's taught me a lot and helped me understand my anxiety and OCD-like tendencies, which in turn aided my thinking and how it needs to change and adapt to overcome those struggles. She's my rock when I'm in all-out freaking out mode and I need to be calmed down. One of the important things she's taught me: take mental health days, when you need them, not when you can find the time in your busy schedule.   

You might be asking, "what in the world are 'mental health days'??" Please remember that my definition is different from someone else's. To me, they are the days we take for ourselves when we are so overwhelmed and exhausted or feel as if we are running on auto-pilot, and we need a day (or two) to recharge our brains and to give our mental health a chance to catch up. 

Here's another way to look at it. Say you fall and break your leg; what do you do? Common sense tells you to go to the doctor for a cast and so you do. There, your leg can heal. But what do you do when your mental health needs a little T.L.C. (tender, loving care)? Mental health can mean a variety of things: whether you feel like yourself or not, or suddenly you feel so weighed down that you feel like you can't breathe. A doctor can't wrap your head and it would be better. Sure, if it works, you can go see a therapist or counselor to help you decompress ('decompose'...Rachel and Cody should appreciate that) and sort yourself out. 

How we spend those days are important and unique to you and your particular needs, but what's just as important is knowing when you need to take one and understanding  and being okay that it usually never fits perfectly into your schedule. Sometimes we need to get away and escape and recharge. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health is. We, as a society, have a tendency to overlook or ignore our mental health and its need to be taken care of. Why? A couple of likely reasons are that we can't see it like we can see a broken leg needs a cast and we don't know how to best treat our mental health when it's broke.

Until next week,

Thought of the day

Formal dancing isn't hard, you just need the right partner

Happy Friday!

Guess what? I have some truly fantastic news for you. Want to hear it? You, yes, you might not have won the powerball, but you did survive the work week or for college students, the first week of the semester a.k.a syllabus week!

And you know what that means? Three words (two, technically): Treat yo' self. Me? I got myself some Panda Express and plan on binging on Parks and Recreation after I get done with this post. 

There are congratulations in order for a couple of couples. Recently, my best friend, Emily Boyd got engaged to her boyfriend Logan Bradley. It was absolutely precious! I better be at the wedding, so I can flirt with all the single guys and fail because I would be too chicken to approach them, but mostly I want to be able to tell you (Em and Logan) and everyone else how happy I am for you two and wish you guys the very best. And that if Logan hurts her, he'll have many people to answer to, specifically me. No pressure.

Also! My cousin, Sarah Nachtman got engaged to her boyfriend, Brian Buehler. I can't wait to hear the proposal story (I'm a sucker for those) behind it! At least I will be able to legally drink (I turn 21 this December! ...yikes?) by time the wedding happens, but in reality I can't wait to share in the day with you two. I have only met Brian a couple of times and one of those times was playing Wii bowling, and I can tell you that he's a good sport when he loses, just like the arguments he'll lose against Sarah. I'm kidding, Brian...only a little bit. He likes Panda Express, so that's a win for him. 

The first week is always stressful to me. It's the professors telling you, "Hey, here's all you have to do in 16 weeks: two big projects, four exams, ten quizzes, and five three-page papers." And your reaction is to sit and stare, trying not to cry. Another thing is that you would haven't got a routine down yet, which I'm all about routines. I'm trying to just take each day as it comes, and I'll eventually find my routine.

One of the classes I'm taking this semester is Ballroom Dancing. Okay, before you start your laughing fit or give me a strange look, let me explain a few things. One, I wanted to try Yoga, because I believed it would help me with strengthen my muscles in a different way and it would also help me with my anxiety and stress levels with learning to calm myself. Two, the Yoga class closed right as I tried to register for classes. So I had to rearrange my schedule yet again, and the others options seemed too intense for me. My thoughts were that if I couldn't get into that class, why not do something that will pay for itself later; answer: ballroom dancing.

I will be honest that I didn't take the class as seriously as I usually take my classes. Yesterday, I had my first taste of actual formal dancing. And it was way more intricate and complicated and serious than I thought. We started with the dance that is most known: the Waltz. If you don't know, this dance is between someone who leads and someone who follows. Makes sense so far? Good. Stay with me; I'll make my points soon enough.

So, my professor asks who will be which role, I immediately volunteer to be the follower. In unfamiliar territory such as formal dancing, Melissa was like, "Play it safe! Yes! I can be a follower!" So I did. But the thing about following? You have to be willing to have someone lead you. My partner literarily told me those exact words, "You have to let me lead." It didn't strike me until later what that meant. I'm so used to being the leader, consciously or unconsciously, and therefore, in control, and when I am forced to let someone have control, or share it, it's so very hard for me. This is one of the three lessons, so far, and reasons why this class will be beneficial to me: letting someone lead me for a change and/or let go of some control. 

Then in the middle of class, my professor threw me (and a few others in the class) for a loop when she said we couldn't look at our feet anymore. I was like, "WHAT?! But how will I know when to step and where to step??" It didn't occur to me until later what this meant. I had to just go with what my gut told me and hope that it will be right. Instead of thinking and worrying if I got the steps right, I need to just feel and let things happen as they do. It shouldn't be a surprise, knowing my anxiety and stress and OCD-tendencies, but it was hard and it will continue to be hard for me. Lesson/reason number two: forcing me to learn how to just do something by feeling instead of always thinking.

The third lesson I realized during class combines reason number one and two: a good dance partner is like someone who you are in love with and intend to marry someday. Why? You need someone will take the lead when you are scared, but you need to be willing to let that person to take control. Sometimes the roles are reversed and you need to be the leader. 

It's only the first week of the class, and look what I've learned from it. Also, this will pay for itself when I go to Emily and Logan's and Sarah and Brian's weddings! Ha. Clear the dance for me to show off. 

Until next week,

Thought of the day

 

There's a difference between "I love you" and "I'm in love with you"

Happy Friday!

Once again, you have made it through another week! Sadly for many college students, it's their last week of break, and classes resume on Monday. And you know what you should do, treat yourself; it's cheat day after all.

This week my life consisted of work, sleeping, and Parks & Recreation binging. While I will admit that I want another week of break, I'm ready to get back on schedule again. I can tell you right now that this will be a short post today, because I'm exhausted for some reason and hungry.

Here's the link to my latest Odyssey online article: Grades Do Not Define Who We Are.

For many big stores, the Valentine's Day flowers, chocolate, teddy bears that say "I love you", and candy was already put out shortly after Christmas or New Year's Day. My dad had the perfect reaction to this: what the frick? Anymore Valentine's Day lost the original meaning behind the day and now has become so commercialized that's it's a cliché and ridiculous holiday. 

To me, this day is sort of pointless because you shouldn't tell the special someone how much you love them and appreciate them for all that they do for you, etcetera only on February 14th. It's something I believe someone should do everyday but not going all out, obviously. I do get it if you want to do something a little out of the ordinary, but it bothers me when people go all out on this day. If I see people do that, it feels like they are trying to make up for all the times they missed out on. 

What I look forward to is that day after V-Day when all the chocolate and candy are all reduced prices.

A friend asked me for some relationship advice because they thought they still might have feelings for an ex-significant other, while, at the same time, starting to date and have feelings for another person. I told them, "I believe there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. People often don't realize this for whatever reason." My friend eventually figured it out and thanked me for the advice.  

"I love you." Loving someone can apply to sibling relationships, parent-child relationships, friend-to-friend relationships, romantic relationships, and etc. This is more of an emotion or feeling.

"I'm in love with you." Being in love with someone is different. You are being specific. You are telling that one person that you have fallen for them. You are in a state of being. Which is being in love with that person.  

 Until next week,

Thought of the day

 

 

 

 

 

Stop always waiting for the other shoe to drop

Happy Friday!

and

Happy New Year!

Hello from me in 2016! I hope everyone enjoyed the journey into the new year. Let's hope people were smart when (and if) they drank to find another way to get home so there were little to no accidents due to drunk drivers. 

The Iowa Hawkeyes are letting the Stanford Cardinals run all over them in the Rose Bowl. After the third touchdown in the 1st quarter, we decided to watch something better than the crap show. I apologize if any of my readers are Hawkeye fans but they are not playing the best.

Not much is new in my life since the last time I posted. I will be going back to UNI on Sunday to work next week. Spending time with family is nice but sometimes there's a point when a person spends too much time with them. Similar to a family vacation: on the way to the destination is (usually) the fun part, but on the way back, everyone is usually sick of each other.

Here's the link to the latest in the Odyssey articles I've written: Cats Are Jerks During the Holidays and Being Single During the Holidays, As Told By Tina Fey And Amy Poehler. 

OH! Before I forget, I checked my final grades and I earned two A's, two A-'s, and one B+ which is a 3.74 GPA for the semester. After screwing myself over scheduling 2 humanities courses with all the reading that came with them, I'm proud of the grades I got. Was it worth all the stress? Maybe. Yes and no. It's up for debate.

Onto to today's topic. This is something I've noticed that I do and I imagine that there are others out there who are guilty of this. It's something that, once in the habit, can be hard to get out of the habit of doing. 

Living life always waiting for the other shoe to drop

Hi, my name is Melissa Curtis, and I'm guilty of living like this. When something good goes right (or the way you wanted/hoped it would) or someone comes into your life that you instantly know will change your life for the better and after coming down from your high, you stop to wonder, "Now what will go wrong for me?" 

Cinderella didn't. Her shoe slipped and she kept on running. I think what happens is that we recognize a pattern in our lives that when something we get something really wanted and then an event happens that makes us wonder why we get our hopes up in the first place. But what we fail to see is that up and down pattern we experience what life is. It's a rollercoster that is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and any other sudden changes in direction. To be fair, it's easy to get caught up in our day to day lives and forget that.

I don't have any special advice or words of wisdom. Why? This is something I'm still trying to figure out for myself. If you have some advice, I would be all ears.

Until next week,

Thought of the day

  

Stressed is desserts spelled backward

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

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For the day job slave drivers: you made it through another work week. For most college students: you made it through the second week of the semester (only 14 more to go!) For retired folk: you made it through another week of doing whatever the hell you want. 

In my last post, I mentioned a great writing opportunity with the Odyssey @ UNI. Also I mentioned I applied and waited to hear back. And I have heard back.

I am now a published writer with the Odyssey @ UNI!

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That gif does not do justice to my reaction to this news. When I found out, my day was going about as well as a fish's attempt to climb a tree or in other words it was a definite struggle bus day. But when I found out I got the position as writer with UNI's chapter of The Odyssey, it literally made my day. That doesn't mean I didn't have any more struggles or challenges; it meant that when those struggles happened, I remembered "You are a writer for the Odyssey @ UNI." Yay for progress!

Here's the links to the two articles that are published: Dear Freshmen, Sincerely: Someone Who Knows and 5 Reasons to Visit the Rod Library.

But, Melissa, since you are writing for The Odyssey @ UNI, will you still keep writing blog posts?

Answer: have no fear! I will keep blogging. Like I said when I first started this blog in May, this is where I get to writing about my personal life and whatever I want to. I don't feel guilty talking about my personal life.

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Now onto the post topic. Today, there is a growing population of college students (myself included) experiencing anxiety, stress, depression, and the like. In 2014 article from the Iowa Center for Public Affairs, it states from a 2013 survey showed 14.6 percent of UNI students received services, and the national average is 15.6 percent; UNI students ever diagnosed with depression is the same national percentage at 18.6 percent. 

Recently a professor confided in me that many students are experiencing/suffering from anxiety and related topics. This really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. Why? We are putting an extreme amount of pressure on students in this day in age. 

Students are expected to do all the readings, write all the (sometimes) pointless papers, study for that comprehensive final, and participate in that group project where there is only one person doing all the work for (generally) five classes.

Oh! And students are expected to get involved in many organizations which require about three hours a week.* 

Anybody feeling stressed just reading that? I do. 

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*Not including: making the time to hang out with friends, making the time to check in with parents or siblings, if the students want to get A's or their definition of good grades, working to pay what financial aid didn't cover, or if the students are questioning if the major they declared is right for them anymore. 

Um, Melissa, don't they have to learn how to manage their time?

Yes, they do. But when everything is overwhelming to the point of them going back to their dorm room after class and crying because they feel so alone and stressed, there is clearly something else going on. 

And if you don't agree with me, then I guess you are entitled to own opinion, however wrong it is. 

Not only is anxiety and depression is affecting students, but also the faculty including professors, instructors, and so on.

As someone who suffers from anxiety, here are some options for those who are scared out their minds.  

*Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, professor, etc. Let them know what's going (not many people have the ability to read minds).

*Make an appointment with your on-campus health center. Be proactive!

*Let your professors know about your anxiety. Most of the time, the professors are understanding and will likely help you in any way they can.

*Find a cheesy saying or quote to repeat to yourself when you are feeling stressed. (Trust me on this one. It's something I'm working on.)

*Plan out your weeks. Make time to study, eat, shower, got to class, do homework. Set aside an hour or two a week to take a break from life.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

REMEMBER THAT.

Until next Friday,

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Thought of the Day

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