Feeling 20 and ready for a new year and new resolutions

Happy Friday!

If you're reading this, you survived part one of the holiday season, and that is awesome. Go get yourself something for making it this far. 

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Boxing Day! Happy what ever you celebrate, if you celebrate this time of the year!

This is my last blog post of 2015. So, I would briefly like to reflect about what this blog has done for me, what I learned, what this writing means to me and for other people. Kerra (my current roommate and future housemate!) sort of inspired me with her own blog to create my own. It took awhile to get the general layout and sometimes the topics were a little hard for me. This blog taught me that the "best way to cure writer's block is to keeping on writing even if you end rambling about how your cat likes to meow at random objects." Okay, so that never happened to me (at least, not yet...), but the point still stands. Keep on writing even if it doesn't make much sense. Recently, a friend from high school and who I talk to on a semi-regularly basis in collage pointed something out to me about my last post. He sent me the actual quote I was referring to, and he thanked me for writing my posts. Starting out (and for the future), I didn't care how much my posts were read; all I cared about is being able to write what happens to be on my mind that week. Thank you from my heart for reading! It means so much to me.

Yes, as the title suggests, I turned 20 on Monday. When friends and family ask me what I want for Christmas and my birthday, I never know what to say because I have everything I need/want: supportive, loving, sarcastic family and friends. The rest is replaceable if lost or destroyed, but the wonderful people in my life are not. From birth, to age 10, to age 20 (respectively), there have been many people coming and going from my life and there are many people in my life consistently and there are many people in my life currently. I'm grateful for each and everyone of them because they have knowingly or unknowingly shaped who I am today. Thank you, everyone.

With 2015 coming to a close and 2016 looming around the corner, many people are split: reminiscing all the good and bad about the year and looking ahead to the new year for all the changes we wish to implement. I don't think we think how much we do this. Perhaps you realized you aren't happy with the way you look, so you decide you want to eat better or walk 20 minutes in the morning. Perhaps you realized you haven't enjoyed the smaller and often go unnoticed moments, so you decide to slow down and take a deep breath of everyday life.

Reminiscing and looking ahead is in itself a paradox. Usually we do either one or another. For some, we live our lives always looking ahead or always looking behind or some even live their lives looking ahead to keep up and only looking back for guidance or past experience when we need advice. No matter how you live your life, it's almost impossible to not think about the past and look forward around the holidays. 

My challenge for you is to stick to your resolutions for more than just 2 weeks and incorporate the change into your day-to-day life. 

Until next time,

Thought of the day

 

Save one person; it doesn't matter if that person is yourself

Happy Friday!

Well, it's once again Friday. After the long week we have all had, we deserve a treat. 

I, as well as all other college students, definitely deserve a break after finishing finals and surviving the week from hell. Granted, there are many other students who had way worse week with tests, presentations, projects, speeches, etc.

FINALLY. I'm home with my kitty, my family (Rachel comes home tomorrow! EEK), the holiday decorations are up, holiday food will soon be made. There really is nothing else like coming home especially during the holidays. No classes, no homework, no studying. Or in other words, no stress.

Here's the link to my latest Odyssey article: An Open Letter to My Future Children. There is an error, but it's already been published. 

I can't remember where I saw this quote but it touched me in a way that it opened my way of thinking. So of course, I needed to find the quote, but I couldn't find it to my disappointment. It went a little like this: "Save someone. Just save one person. It does not matter if that one person is yourself." We often underestimate our actions when it comes to helping out others. We love to try to save everyone when in reality we are the ones drowning and needed saving. Family and friends try their best to help us, but we need to save ourselves. It's easy to become reliant on others to save us. If the only person you end up saving is yourself, then you succeed.

Some say that to save others, you must first save yourself. This is not true. Far from it actually. By doing the little things, saying the right set of words at the right time, etc., we don't always realize the effect that can have on someone's day, mood, life, and so on. And sometimes it's through saving someone else that we save ourselves or figure out a way to save ourselves. 

Until next week,

Thought of the day

 

  

Grades do not (and should not) define who we are

Happy Friday!

It's Friday, which means....the weekend! You made it! Treat yourself! (You probably deserve it, anyway.)

A brief update on my life: I have been feeling a little sluggish for a while, but I'm really trying to just get through each day. What helps are great co-workers, great roommate and/or friends, and naps. And the thought I'm almost done with the semester and I can enjoy some time away. 

Here's the link to my latest Odyssey article: 10 Movies To Get You in the Holiday Spirit.

Countdown to Christmas break: 7 days: 2 tests, 1 project, ? hours of work.

 I GOT THIS. 

Speaking of the dreaded finals week. There's something I think it's important and especially relevant this point in the semester to talk about. I came about this topic while I was having lunch with a friend. All semester she's struggled with a class and the terrible (and totally unhelpful) professor, and I listened to her vent (totally don't mind doing it). Without going into too much detail to be respectful, I said, "This will sound preachy, but your grade does not define who you are." It's true. I know how much work she did. I know how much effort she's made to learn the material. The grade she should get for all the time, effort, work she put into the semester is definitely (and significantly) higher than the one she's told me that she'll likely get.

The grades we get on projects, the grades we get on tests, the grades we get on assignments DO NOT define us. 

This is so important that I will say it again: the grades we get in a class do not define us and who we are. 

Grades do not define who we are as human beings. They do not define us, and we shouldn't let them. They do not know what a beautiful human you are. 

What matters isn't the grade, even though I will not deny the fact it's nice to see an 'A' on a quiz, you got; it's what you got out of the experience, what you learned is what matters. Now, I realize this is a hard concept to accept and enforce in your life.  

Why we put so much emphasis on grades is something that bugs me to no end. If someone, who worked really hard (and learned a lot), received a 'C+' then they deserve the same positive attention given to the person who, might not have worked as hard, received a 'A'. I believe it goes back to how our society today seems to love to judge by first glance and that's that. While I might not have proof to back this opinion up, this something that needs to be changed about our society.

Until next week,

Thought of the day

'Tis the season of giving

Happy Friday!

It's Friday once again, readers! And I'm just going to say it. FINALLY. This week seemed long, and I'm glad it's over...for the most part. I hope everyone had a good week, and if they didn't, I hope you have a relaxing weekend. 

A quick update on my life. It's been stressful this past week, and next week and the following week will be the same way. But after my last final on Thursday, I will be officially done with the semester! THEN CHRISTMAS BREAK.

Here's the latest articles I've published on The Odyssey Online: 10 Things College Students Are Thankful For and Life Lessons In How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

Countdown until Christmas break: 14 days.

Onto today's post topic. There is a couple of things I wanted to talk about but with they sort of overlap so I will just combine them in one big monster post.

A past professor posted a status about one of her students receiving some terrible news and asking for prayers. This status made me stop to rethink my week. While I was on the struggle bus all week with allergies and stressing over projects and tests, this student received the worst news so close to Christmas. As college students nearing finals week, we often get caught up between studying, procrastinating, complaining about our finals, worrying and stressing over tests, and other things. And we forget that others around us are facing bigger challenges than a test or project. I'm not saying that's a bad thing; I know all too well of just trying to get myself through the days and not thinking about others and their struggles. 

This is the season of giving and being thankful. My mom always told me that classic line "it's better to give than to receive". As a wee child, I didn't understand it, but as I have grown over the years, I realize it's true. Giving someone a gift, whether it's homemade or bought from a store, and seeing their eyes light up because they are surprised and overcome with joy is one of the most amazing feelings, in my opinion. It's one of the reasons why I love giving people gifts because when I get the chance to make someone's day with something they really wanted or always wanted (and maybe couldn't afford to buy it) or something they need, I love when their eyes light up, they have a huge grin on their face, and generally look like they are on cloud nine. 

To tie back into the first paragraph, I have only recently understood that "it's better to give than to receive" doesn't only apply to physical items but also to non-tangible items like praying for someone who needs it or listening to someone vent if they had a bad day or giving someone a hug if they look like need one and so on. So instead of worrying about my problems, I will take the time to pray for anyone needs it, listen to anyone who needs a listening ear, and give anyone a hug who needs one.

Until next week,

Thought of the day

Black Friday isn't for everyone

Happy Friday!

For some of my readers, they had to work today, and for the others, they had the day off. Either way, it's the weekend! I hope those who shopped today didn't die and got the deals they wanted. 

As I write this, I'm watching the Iowa vs. Nebraska football game and I realize my break is almost over. Which is sort of saddening because I feel like I have wasted it or haven't used as a break. My break has consisted of reading and/or doing homework, helping my parents around the house, visiting/spending time with family and friends, and sleeping but mostly doing reading. 

Black Friday. Did I go shopping today? Nope. Did I go shopping Thursday? Nope. If that surprises you, you must not know me as well as you might think you do. To begin with, I'm not a huge fan of shopping. Now add twice as many people, and you wouldn't see me anywhere near a store. Fighting other people for the same items to only save a little? Nope. That's not my main reason. 

What gets me is the day before, Thanksgiving, is for being thankful for what we do have, and the very next day, we need to shop for more and more things. In recent years, this pandemic has gotten worse with stores opening up on Thanksgiving. Rather than enjoying the day off with family and/or friends, many people would rather shop. Sure, there is the argument that they are spending time with family. The only question I have for them is: is it really worth fighting others for the same gifts in the end? 

To me, I would rather spend time with family without being rushed and doing something I actually like doing.

But if that's what you like to do, then keep doing what you want to do.

Until next week,

Thought of the day

 

Why I Boycott Black Friday

Happy Friday!

It's going be a short post tonight. Ah, the holiday season is upon us once again. We all know what means: shopping. For many people, they do their shopping on the day after Thanksgiving, or more commonly known as Black Friday. I don't see the appeal of getting up at 1:30 in the morning and waiting in line, most likely in the freezing cold, until the stores open up to get holiday shopping done; I love my sleep too much. But there is a better and more important reason why I boycott Black Friday and Gray Thursday (opening on Thanksgiving night) shopping. 

I boycott Black Friday and Gray Thursday shopping because the day before or the day of we are giving thanks for the people, food, things, and etc, and the next we are shopping for more things. It almost seems like we aren't satisfied with what we have. 

Thanksgiving is the holiday that is dedicated for giving thanks, be grateful, realized blessings, but our society seems to have moved that to the back burner and in its place, we place our shopping lists as top priority. Why do we do this? Why do we need to feel the need to get our shopping done right away? 

We are living too fast. We want things done and we want them done yesterday. An old fable comes to mind. The Tortoise and the Hare. Aesop's fable is one that is commonly heard during our childhood. And as many people are aware of, fables are stories designed to give some sort of lesson or moral. Although the true lesson of The Tortoise and the Hare has been debated, it means that sometimes slow and steady does win the race. 

But we are becoming the Hare. We seem to be needing to keep going and going as we live our lives in the fast lane. Where will this get us? Shopping? Done, now on to baking holiday and getting the card ready. 

I realize it's hard, but instead of going of shopping, just enjoy the day with your loved ones.

In the silence, we learn much about ourselves

Happy Friday!

Hey. Guess what? Today's Friday! If you need a friendly reminder of the obvious of today's date, that was it. You made it through the week. It's a serious accomplishment. Treat yo self. You know you want it. I'm giving you an excuse to binge on Netflix or eat a tub of Ben&Jerry's (which is something that sounds extremely appealing to me), and I'm also willing to take responsibility if anybody asks why you finished the ice cream; here's what you can say: "Well, I was reading this blog post, and it said to treat myself so I did."  

Also, I realize that is Friday, November 13, or Friday the 13th. Don't let that stop you from stepping on cracks or walking under ladders. YOLO, readers.

Here are the links for my latest Odyssey Online articles: College As Told Through Animals and Freedom Does Not Come Free, in honor of Veteran's Day this past Wednesday.

A brief update on my life: with Kerra (my current and amazingly understanding roommate), Jessica (a friend of Kerra's and who also happens to live on the same floor as Kerra and I), Emily (a friend of Kerra and Jessica), I signed a lease to live in a house next year. Wow. Saying that is weird. I saw older friends and siblings signing leases, and I always wished I could do that. Now that I actually signed a lease, I realized that I'm maturing, being an adult, or in general, growing up. Man, it's scary but exciting at the same time. I'm starting to develop an understanding that those are among the best things in life; those things or people who make you feel excited and scared at the same time.  

Congratulations to West Delaware Football for a great season!

Congratulations to West Delaware Volleyball for winning State! 

Onto today's topics. Yes, there are two topics today. I'm not sure how long this post will be, so bear with me. 

If you were not aware this past Wednesday was Veteran's Day, then you probably live under a rock or you are a hermit. Freedom is not free. Many of us hear this so often that it may not even register in minds anymore. Thus, we might forget what that phrase's intended meaning was and continues to be. 

It might seem ironic: freedom does not come free. Since the word freedom has the prefix "free," many can understandably assume freedom does not come with any costs. If a random stranger came up and asked you, "What is a cost of war?" the most likely answer would be something related to money. Again, this is an understandable answer except we are leaving out a tremendous and significant cost. 

Lives. Lives of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, aunts, uncles, grandparents. The more fortunate ones come home safely from war; less fortunate ones come home but with sometimes life-altering injuries, and the rest are those who literally died fighting. However, all deserve to be thanked. Thanked for their sacrifice: for putting the needs of others in front of their own, for going to war knowing they have a 50/50 chance of making it home, and for deciding this country, and the people in it, are worth defending. Thanked for witnessing things, doing things, experiencing things that no one person should have to. 

Not only should we thank those brave individuals, but also we should thank the family and friends of those said brave individuals. They are willing to go through possibly extended periods of time without hearing from their loved one. They are willing to continue living their lives despite not having a mother or father or husband or wife every day. 

As the proud granddaughter of two Korean War veterans, I had first-hand experience with the costs of war. Others might not believe as strongly as I do about Veteran's Day or Memorial Day or any other military holiday. That's okay. There is one thing, though, I believe every American should do more often than they probably do: thank a veteran. 

My name is Melissa Curtis, and here are the veterans I am thanking. 

Thank you, Sergeant Sylvester Fortman, of the US Army, whose honors include the Purple Heart.

 

Thank you, Airman 1st Class Merlyn Curtis, of the Air Force, whose honors include the Purple Heart.

I challenge everyone to thank at least one veteran for their service and sacrifice. Veterans deserved to be thanked more often than a couple of times a year. 

Always remember: freedom does not come free.

 

My next topic is a little rougher. As you might recall, I wrote a blogpost a while back about the suicide of UNI freshman Caitlyn Burns. (Here's the link to the post in case you missed it.) Another suicide struck the University of Northern Iowa family yesterday: sophomore Kyle Raarup. 

When I first heard about Kyle's passing, I immediately stopped and deeply sighed. For someone who has a way with words, there are no words that came to mind in that moment.

It makes you wonder, though, if there are any words to be said in a moment like that. Tragedies, for example suicide, makes us freeze up and everything around us, all the thoughts you were thinking, all the actions you were doing, everything just unconsciously fades away. Silence surrounds you, but you don't notice it. The people who aren't aware or are better at hiding their reaction to the news fade away. Suddenly, everything becomes clear and you notice everything with a new outlook. 

Silence. These moments are for self-reflection. Wondering if you called your grandparents to tell them you love them and to talk about how they have been doing. Wondering if you called your parents to ask how their day was and ending with "I love you, Mom and Dad." Wondering if you are doing your best in your classes or if you could do better. Wondering if your close friends and family know you love and appreciate them. Wondering if you are decent human being or just an a**hole. Wondering if you are really living in the moment and not taking anything for granted, not even for a second. 

Yesterday morning, after getting back from class, I got this strange urge to call my mom. I couldn't figure out why, at the time. Then it hit me as Kerra and I were walking to the candlelit vigil. Something, God, my loved ones in heaven, maybe both, must have wanted me to call my mom, to remind her that I love her and just talk about life. That is just what I did after getting back and in the process of doing my laundry. 

One of the aspects that makes suicide such a controversial topic is whether the person was selfish and a coward or if the person was brave and courageous. If you read a earlier post, you know where I stand on this issue, but I won't repeat that. Right now that is not what matters right now. What else doesn't or shouldn't matter is judging the person on if they were cowardly or brave. If we refrain from judging the person, then what do we have left? What's left is mourning the loss of a friend, a stranger, or a fellow classmate. We are quick to judge. Maybe we are moving onto to some other feeling or action so we don't have to feel the loss or an empty feeling. That's not healthy. Losing someone close and/or special to us is hard, but burying those feelings will hurt even worse. 

To any one struggling with living:

If you want people who will be patient listeners, we can be there. 

If you want people who will sit in silence with you, we can be there. 

If you want people who will hold you while you breakdown, we can be there. 

We are UNIted. 

We are family. 

"Ohana means family; and family means no one gets left behind." 

Until next week,

Thought of the day