Friday, November 13, 2015

In the silence, we learn much about ourselves


Happy Friday!

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Hey. Guess what? Today's Friday! If you need a friendly reminder of the obvious of today's date, that was it. You made it through the week. It's a serious accomplishment. Treat yo self. You know you want it. I'm giving you an excuse to binge on Netflix or eat a tub of Ben&Jerry's (which is something that sounds extremely appealing to me), and I'm also willing to take responsibility if anybody asks why you finished the ice cream; here's what you can say: "Well, I was reading this blog post, and it said to treat myself so I did."  
Also, I realize that is Friday, November 13, or Friday the 13th. Don't let that stop you from stepping on cracks or walking under ladders. YOLO, readers.
Here are the links for my latest Odyssey Online articles: College As Told Through Animals and Freedom Does Not Come Free, in honor of Veteran's Day this past Wednesday.
A brief update on my life: with Kerra (my current and amazingly understanding roommate), Jessica (a friend of Kerra's and who also happens to live on the same floor as Kerra and I), Emily (a friend of Kerra and Jessica), I signed a lease to live in a house next year. Wow. Saying that is weird. I saw older friends and siblings signing leases, and I always wished I could do that. Now that I actually signed a lease, I realized that I'm maturing, being an adult, or in general, growing up. Man, it's scary but exciting at the same time. I'm starting to develop an understanding that those are among the best things in life; those things or people who make you feel excited and scared at the same time.  
Congratulations to West Delaware Football for a great season!
Congratulations to West Delaware Volleyball for winning State! 
Onto today's topics. Yes, there are two topics today. I'm not sure how long this post will be, so bear with me. 
If you were not aware this past Wednesday was Veteran's Day, then you probably live under a rock or you are a hermit. Freedom is not free. Many of us hear this so often that it may not even register in minds anymore. Thus, we might forget what that phrase's intended meaning was and continues to be. 
It might seem ironic: freedom does not come free. Since the word freedom has the prefix "free," many can understandably assume freedom does not come with any costs. If a random stranger came up and asked you, "What is a cost of war?" the most likely answer would be something related to money. Again, this is an understandable answer except we are leaving out a tremendous and significant cost. 
Lives. Lives of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, aunts, uncles, grandparents. The more fortunate ones come home safely from war; less fortunate ones come home but with sometimes life-altering injuries, and the rest are those who literally died fighting. However, all deserve to be thanked. Thanked for their sacrifice: for putting the needs of others in front of their own, for going to war knowing they have a 50/50 chance of making it home, and for deciding this country, and the people in it, are worth defending. Thanked for witnessing things, doing things, experiencing things that no one person should have to. 
Not only should we thank those brave individuals, but also we should thank the family and friends of those said brave individuals. They are willing to go through possibly extended periods of time without hearing from their loved one. They are willing to continue living their lives despite not having a mother or father or husband or wife every day. 
As the proud granddaughter of two Korean War veterans, I had first-hand experience with the costs of war. Others might not believe as strongly as I do about Veteran's Day or Memorial Day or any other military holiday. That's okay. There is one thing, though, I believe every American should do more often than they probably do: thank a veteran. 
My name is Melissa Curtis, and here are the veterans I am thanking. 
Thank you, Sergeant Sylvester Fortman, of the US Army, whose honors include the Purple Heart.
 

Thank you, Airman 1st Class Merlyn Curtis, of the Air Force, whose honors include the Purple Heart.

I challenge everyone to thank at least one veteran for their service and sacrifice. Veterans deserved to be thanked more often than a couple of times a year. 
Always remember: freedom does not come free.
 
My next topic is a little rougher. As you might recall, I wrote a blogpost a while back about the suicide of UNI freshman Caitlyn Burns. (Here's the link to the post in case you missed it.) Another suicide struck the University of Northern Iowa family yesterday: sophomore Kyle Raarup. 
When I first heard about Kyle's passing, I immediately stopped and deeply sighed. For someone who has a way with words, there are no words that came to mind in that moment.
It makes you wonder, though, if there are any words to be said in a moment like that. Tragedies, for example suicide, makes us freeze up and everything around us, all the thoughts you were thinking, all the actions you were doing, everything just unconsciously fades away. Silence surrounds you, but you don't notice it. The people who aren't aware or are better at hiding their reaction to the news fade away. Suddenly, everything becomes clear and you notice everything with a new outlook. 
Silence. These moments are for self-reflection. Wondering if you called your grandparents to tell them you love them and to talk about how they have been doing. Wondering if you called your parents to ask how their day was and ending with "I love you, Mom and Dad." Wondering if you are doing your best in your classes or if you could do better. Wondering if your close friends and family know you love and appreciate them. Wondering if you are decent human being or just an a**hole. Wondering if you are really living in the moment and not taking anything for granted, not even for a second. 
Yesterday morning, after getting back from class, I got this strange urge to call my mom. I couldn't figure out why, at the time. Then it hit me as Kerra and I were walking to the candlelit vigil. Something, God, my loved ones in heaven, maybe both, must have wanted me to call my mom, to remind her that I love her and just talk about life. That is just what I did after getting back and in the process of doing my laundry. 
One of the aspects that makes suicide such a controversial topic is whether the person was selfish and a coward or if the person was brave and courageous. If you read a earlier post, you know where I stand on this issue, but I won't repeat that. Right now that is not what matters right now. What else doesn't or shouldn't matter is judging the person on if they were cowardly or brave. If we refrain from judging the person, then what do we have left? What's left is mourning the loss of a friend, a stranger, or a fellow classmate. We are quick to judge. Maybe we are moving onto to some other feeling or action so we don't have to feel the loss or an empty feeling. That's not healthy. Losing someone close and/or special to us is hard, but burying those feelings will hurt even worse. 

To any one struggling with living:

If you want people who will be patient listeners, we can be there. 

If you want people who will sit in silence with you, we can be there. 

If you want people who will hold you while you breakdown, we can be there. 

We are UNIted. 

We are family. 

"Ohana means family; and family means no one gets left behind." 












Until next week,

















Thought of the day

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