Happy Saturday!
Readers! I realize this post is a day late. I'll get to why that it is in a little bit. Hopefully you all had a good week, or if you had a bad one, I hope you could find something good in each day. Someone (the name escapes me, as I write this) once said, "Every day might not be good, but there's good in every day." Probably messed that up, but you get what I mean.
Okay. Why this post is a day late: it is spring break for me; I worked 33 hours this week which is more than I usually work in a week; I went to go see my sister and her boyfriend after I got off work yesterday. On Facebook, I see people posting pictures of spending their break down in the southern states or out of the country. Truly I am happy for them because if that's how they want to spend their break, then go them! I, on the other hand, started my break by spending time with family (and four-wheeling!) and playing Cribbage with my parents and grandma, then coming back to school to work because the car repairs can't be paid with smiles (although I wish it could; that would be so easy!), and I topped off my break by spending the night in with my sister and her boyfriend. Was it perfect? Maybe not, but it was ideal for me.
My most recent Odyssey article link: Not Everyone Grew Up the Way You Did.
My mentor, Ma (Marcia) Powell, has been and continues to be a blessing in my life. She's taught me a lot and helped me understand my anxiety and OCD-like tendencies, which in turn aided my thinking and how it needs to change and adapt to overcome those struggles. She's my rock when I'm in all-out freaking out mode and I need to be calmed down. One of the important things she's taught me: take mental health days, when you need them, not when you can find the time in your busy schedule.
You might be asking, "what in the world are 'mental health days'??" Please remember that my definition is different from someone else's. To me, they are the days we take for ourselves when we are so overwhelmed and exhausted or feel as if we are running on auto-pilot, and we need a day (or two) to recharge our brains and to give our mental health a chance to catch up.
Here's another way to look at it. Say you fall and break your leg; what do you do? Common sense tells you to go to the doctor for a cast and so you do. There, your leg can heal. But what do you do when your mental health needs a little T.L.C. (tender, loving care)? Mental health can mean a variety of things: whether you feel like yourself or not, or suddenly you feel so weighed down that you feel like you can't breathe. A doctor can't wrap your head and it would be better. Sure, if it works, you can go see a therapist or counselor to help you decompress ('decompose'...Rachel and Cody should appreciate that) and sort yourself out.
How we spend those days are important and unique to you and your particular needs, but what's just as important is knowing when you need to take one and understanding and being okay that it usually never fits perfectly into your schedule. Sometimes we need to get away and escape and recharge. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health is. We, as a society, have a tendency to overlook or ignore our mental health and its need to be taken care of. Why? A couple of likely reasons are that we can't see it like we can see a broken leg needs a cast and we don't know how to best treat our mental health when it's broke.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
Happy Friday!
and Spring BREAKKKK for me!
Hello, dear readers! I hope you had a good week and fantastic Friday. If you didn't, well, I'm sorry to hear about that. Either way, you deserve to treat yourself. My week started off a little rough, but once I got my Marketing exam done, it got better and better. My co-workers thought I was on a sugar high when really I was just happy and in good mood which I haven't quite been lately.
IT'S SPRING BREAK!!! Yes, it is an amazing feeling. It will be nice (and already is) to be home for a couple of days. I'm not a partier; in fact, I will be coming back to Cedar Falls to work next week. Plus, I have readings and studying to do for Humanities because I have a test the Wednesday after Spring Break. Not having class for a week will be nice, to have a little bit of quality time with myself is much needed.
My latest Odyssey article link: What I've Learned From Ballroom Dancing.
Before I begin my topic of choice, there are a couple things I need to say first. For one, I wanted to thank the support of my close family (/relatives) and friends for reading these posts and giving me feedback. I don't expect people to read it as soon as post them or I don't expect people to read every single one. With that started, this brings me to my second (and final) point: this is my blog. This is where I write whatever happened to be on my mind. It is never my intention to call anyone out or single anybody out, and neither it is my intention to hurt anybody with what I say. Those who know me well enough know that I write (or try to, because I'm not always perfect) about something happening in my life and connecting it to society.
I am struggling between a couple of topics for this post. And I believe I can connect them in a way that makes sense. For those who don't already know, I love reading stories and FanFiction online, listening to music, and being way too involved in my TV shows: Arrow, The Flash, The 100, Suits, and Criminal Minds. These are my escapes. This is where I allow myself to let go and lose myself in the stories, the music, and the TV shows. Contrary to some of the popular beliefs that today's music, literature, and TV shows are mindless and don't teach you anything, I believe there shows, songs, and books out there that aim to teach you something. I'm not naive enough to believe they are trying to make money off us or trying to write for ratings. I know that plays a part; how big that part is exactly is a discussion for another time.
Reality is terrible. Reality has Donald Trump running for president and actually having supporters who believe he wants to "make America great again". Reality has the lives of African Americans still being discriminated against in violent ways. Reality has the wage gap between men and women. Reality has millions of college students up to their eyeballs in deep debt because tuition is skyrocketing. Reality has men and women being subjected to sexual assaults and some of society naively blaming the victim. Reality has award shows, The Oscars, for example, unfairly lacking diversity in the nominees. Reality has members of the middle class gradually sinking into the lower class. Reality has many people still believing that climate change is a hoax or joke. Reality is terrible.
Can you really blame anybody for wanting to escape reality? For wanting a chunk of time when they can ignore all the problems, all the terrible things in the world done by terrible people? It's why we want to go on vacations, to get away from life for a while. But we can't let ourselves focus on all the terrible aspects of reality. There are good aspects of humanity and further more reality. I try to focus on the little things that prove my faith in humanity and my version of reality gets a little better. Does that make me blind or naive to all the terrible things or people of the world? Maybe. Maybe not. I would like to see a world where people try to pass a random act of kindness however they can.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
Happy Friday!
If your week was anything like mine, you most definitely deserve to treat yourself, because, in general, my week was pretty crappy with 3 tests, 1 paper, and 1 group dance project and being awoken at 5:15am for a fire alarm on Wednesday morning. You know what? I got ice cream; it wasn't 4 Queens level of ice cream, but it was a treat nonetheless. So. The point is: treat yourself.
Next week at this time, I will be at home, enjoying the presence of my kitty and my family and away from classes, work, campus, and generally all adult responsibilities that comes with being a college student. No, I won't be spending my Spring Break in partying Florida for two reasons: one, I'm a broke, and two, I'm not a big fan of crowds/partying. Hence why I will be working for most of the break. I'm a real dare-devil.
My latest Odyssey article link: 15 Things Only Fangirls Get.
In the last couple of weeks, I have come to a realization about college. Sure, classes and dealing with some professors and even co-workers (not mine, of course, I have awesome co-workers) can be difficult, generating feelings of frustration or anger. Although, I believe there's something that's even more challenging than those things. Actually it's probably most likely the overlaying cause or theme in a couple of those things.
Not everyone was raised the way you were.
You might be sarcastically thinking, "No, really, Melissa." It's true, though. It's also easy to think that when it's not happening to you. (Like most things in life.)
If you're a frequent reader of this blog of mine, you know how much I love and appreciate my family. I'm so very blessed with a family such as mine. My parents, who didn't have the easiest childhood, know the value of hard work, spending money practically, honesty, a good work ethic, being courteous and kind to others, and many other admirable traits and characteristics. Just like the good parents they are, they wanted to make sure my siblings and I learned and realized how important it is to have those traits and others. (And I'd like to think they succeeded.) How my parents taught us those traits wasn't always a walk in the park; in fact, they were, and continue to be, hard lessons learned. Many times, I couldn't always realize or see what they were trying to teach me. All they've taught me is one of the many things I'm thankful for and something I'll never regret the experiences and hope to pass onto kids of my own someday (in the very distant future).
But not everyone experienced all that I have and I haven't experienced all that everyone has. It can be a hard truth to swallow. Not everyone I help at the library is as courteous as I was raised to be, and I grin and bear it. Not everyone was raised to be kind and do something nice for a stranger, especially when it might slightly inconvenience you. Not everyone was taught to respect co-workers and supervisors and do as you're instructed. Not everyone was raised to not recklessly spend money as soon as they get paid and learn how to save it in case of a rainy day. Maybe most importantly, not everyone was raised to think of others and their feelings before yourself.
Everyone is different, yes. Everyone experienced life a little differently, yes. Is it frustrating when you wonder why someone doesn't know that a harsh truth is better than any sugar-coated lie? Is it hard when you wonder why someone doesn't know that actions speak louder than words; that apologies require a change? Yes. Hell yes, it is. This happens with roommates, best friends, friends, co-workers, and anyone else you come into contact with on any given day. What's probably even harder is accepting and understanding differences in values, opinions, and etc. The good thing is, though, this a life-long process.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
Happy Fri-Saturday!
Guess what? It's Saturday, and that means sleeping in, eating a late breakfast, and then proceeding to enjoy the wonderful weather we having...because I've heard this rumor that we will be getting another snowstorm on Monday (ha, ironic, huh?) and Tuesday. I did get to enjoy the beautiful weather for a little bit as I walked to work today.
Yes, this post is a day late, but I started it yesterday. Going on less than 5 hours of sleep, I literally went from one thing to the next: early morning workout, shower, breakfast, class, work, helping out/catching up with a friend, class, and meeting for a group project. Exhausted, I realized all I have to do next week: 3 tests, 1 group project, and 1 paper. The following week is less stressful with only 1 exam and part of a group project due. I decided to do homework instead. As of right now, I have the paper finished and that part of a group project done.
Tonight's plan is to get Panda Express's orange chicken and fried rice, and maybe even stop by 4 Queens for a black raspberry shake, while studying for my Humanities test on Monday and taking breaks by catching up on episodes of my tv shows I've missed this week.
My latest Odyssey article: 10 Lessons I've Learned From 'Parks and Recreation'.
Since it is close to the halfway point in the semester, I'd like to take a moment to reflect on my time with ballroom dancing. Before this class, I didn’t think, know, or realize just how much movement is involved in each dance and how complicated the steps seem. I remember thinking before the lessons started, “Oh, how many calories does ballroom dancing actually burn. I mean, come on, how hard can it be? People make it look easy on shows like Dancing with the Stars and America’s Got Talent.” Well, after the first day, when we started with the Salsa, it definitely changed how I thought about how I need to reassess my way of thinking to make sure I did everything right to earn a satisfying grade: enjoy learning about the dances and being able to do all the steps right. This information is important to my well-being, because it academically and physically challenged me in a way I haven’t been challenged before: the academic aspect of actually learning formal dancing and, the physical aspect, learning the basic steps that go with each, instead of the typical “jumping up and down while waving my hands” and “casual, middle-school type sway to slow songs” dancing. Changing from that “loose” dancing style frame of mind to more of a “formal” dancing style mind frame almost forced me to wipe the metaphorical whiteboard and start fresh again from scratch.
A skill that I learned in this class is how important it is to keep a proper frame when dancing. The reason it is so important to keep a proper and tight frame is that it helps the leaders clearly initiate what they want to followers do, and another reason is that it can be used as a foundation to go back to for the pair to gather their bearings together if a step didn’t go as well they’d hoped. Now, this is skill is important to my well-being in metaphorical sense, because I know I have two left feet sometimes and holding a proper frame allows me, as a follower, forces me to focus on keeping up with the steps and/or combination, instead me dwelling on if I did that step perfectly or not, and it also helps when the leader can clearly initiate turns and such, instead of it generally feeling loose and go-with-the-flow.
One of the pieces of wisdom I have learned in this class is that in order to be a good follower, I needed to actually let my partner lead; my reasoning for taking on the role of a follower is that dancing, formal dancing specifically, is almost like a foreign language to me. To the average person that might sound a little obvious, but for me, this was and continues to be a challenge for me. All my life I’ve always felt the need to take control because I don’t trust the other person to take initiative. What I found is that when I let go some control and trusted my partner, it felt as if some weight had lifted off my shoulders and completed the steps well. This class improved or, at the very least, helped my emotional wellness in that learning to let go of a little control will help me feel less stressed and weighted down. Another piece of wisdom I have learned from this class is something I previously knew but this class reinforced it: having confidence in myself. I constantly doubt myself and believe that since it wasn’t up to my exceedingly high standards, it wasn’t good enough. Gradually, I felt more and more comfortable in the steps I took that I was doing well. This will help my emotional wellness in the future by reinforcing me to have confidence in myself and my actions.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
Happy Friday!
It is Friday. Finally. If you're reading this, do both of us a favor and go get yourself a treat for making it through the week without strangling anyone. Well, if you did, I'm sorry because that sucks.
I told a co-worker today that it doesn't matter how easy-going my week can go, I'm still exhausted and drained by the end of the week. Probably need to get more sleep and stress and worry less and not to take on too much. Aha, nervous laughter, yeah, that's probably not going to happen anytime soon.
I hope all is well with my readers. If not, please let me know and we can talk. I want everyone to know that if they need someone to listen, I'll lend them an ear.
Here's the link to my latest Odyssey article: Love Lessons I've Learned From Ballroom Dancing.
Today's topic is something I'm sure everyone is familiar with and, if not, will experience sooner or later in life. There are many forms of it than we might think of. It can be sugar-coated to the point we actually believe it. What is ironic is that we don't even realize we are doing it or experiencing it.
tunnel vision
When people first hear this phrase, their first thoughts are probably about driving. They wouldn't be wrong. It's common and understandable to get tunnel vision when driving, especially when driving somewhere you have been a million times and know the route like the back of your hand. Your brain takes a break and your subconscious takes over and you end up getting lost in your thoughts. The next thing you know, you arrived at your destination Or other cases, someone could be driving and be so focused on getting to the destination that they forget to enjoy the scenery or landscape every so often.
For a literal person, this is where they stop. Tunnel vision actually applies and is associated with more than just driving. You could get so focused on a goal or mission that you end up missing out on commitments or precious family time you can't get back, forgetting and mixing up your priorities. It's so easy to do this. Get caught up in this way of life. Maybe in some twisted way, you might start to believe it defines you as person and if you fail, you feel completely and utterly lost. But it doesn't. Don't let your career, your job define you as a person. You are so much more than that. There is so much more to you than your social status, economic status, work status.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
Happy Friday!
Even if you had a suckish day, you made it through. Even if you had terrible week, full of struggle bus days, you made it through. That's an accomplishment in my books, no matter how small that might seem.
Also, I should warn you that if you see or notice any grammatical, spelling, or any other mistakes, it's "my 4-hours of sleep and 4 cups of coffee" self talking. My regular "6-hours of sleep and 2 cups of Black Tea (caffeinated)" self, is not liable. *nervous laughter* ...I need to get more sleep.
Currently, I am visiting my sister and her boyfriend at Upper Iowa. After the past few weeks I've had, this is a much-needed break from campus, classes, work, and other stuff. Plus I get to see my sister.
My latest Odyssey article: Dying Democracy In America?
Today's topic. Since coming to college, and especially during the last few weeks, I've learned some hard, glaring truths about life. I don't think I've fully grasped them all the way, but I believe I will get there someday.
There are some things that are just out of your control.
Oh, jeez. This one hits me hard. I'm all about control. And when the ball (re: control) is in the other person's court, it frustrates me. Giving them the control, waiting on the decision or action? It kills me. Life is a delicate balance of giving and taking control (if someone has said this before, forgive my ignorance) and the real key is knowing when to give and take. This isn't something you learn once and you are able to remember it. It's something that is almost a daily test.
You are enough. Don't let society or anyone else tell or imply you are not.
In the world today, there are so many stereotypes, expectations, standards set for people. And if we don't measure up, we start to believe that we are not enough. That we didn't get the grade we wanted on a project, that we mess up at work, that-I could probably go on all day, but that would waste time. The point is this: YOU. ARE. ENOUGH. If you need to write this in thick, black Sharpie on your mirror so that it's the first thing you see when you wake up, then do it. Don't worry about your appearance, your personality, your humor. You are enough.
Sometimes we desperately want to help the ones closest to us, but we can't and it leaves us feeling helpless.
It's true. Especially when it comes to family and friends. All you can do is give advice and let them make their own decision. More often than not, you're not going to agree with it. And that sucks. You might feel like that they didn't your advice into account before making the decision. But you can't control them. If they are willing to take that risk, then that's all that matters. It will be a lesson or a success for them, and they will either need you to not say "I told you so" or want to celebrate with you. However it works out, you need to swallow any stray thoughts and remaining pride, and go with the flow. No matter how hard it be.
No relationship is worthless: you learn what you want and what you don't want.
It makes sense when you think about it. If a guy breaks your heart, you learn what you don't want in a relationship. When the seemingly perfect and nice girl agrees to a date and it goes well (for both), you learn what qualities you want and are looking for in a girl. You learn what you need and what you could do without. So, when you are enjoying a lazy Sunday morning with your spouse and children, laughing over something the dog did, you will realize the broken hearts and the breaking of hearts and the unrequited crushes were worth it.
Being understanding, being the better person, always putting the person's feelings before your own has its limits.
Man. This one will be a hard be for me. My mom and siblings taught me over and over again that when someone hurts you, you need to be the better person and not retaliate back. I would like to make a tiny addition or actually it's more of an adjustment. You need to tell the person that whatever happened or whatever was said hurt you. It's not fair to anyone to expect the person to be able to read your mind and deduce that you're hurt. That's it. You did your part. And now it's up to the person what will follow. One more thing to keep in mind, apologies are just a string of words if there are no actions to bring meaning to words.
Then sometimes you need to put yourself first because that person doesn't do anything, and you can't wait around for them for something that might never come.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
Happy Friday!
Glorious day! Friday is one of my favorite "f" words, right behind food and family. If you haven't treated yourself yet today, go do it now...or when you can, but definitely today. Why? You survived the week's challenges and you deserve it. We can get caught up and forget celebrate the little things.
It's been a long week, even if we had a snow day. I had three tests, and I did fairly well on all of them. I do have a little bit of breathing room until next Thursday and Friday, and then next weekend I can relax by going to visit my sister, seeing my parents, and hopefully going to see "Annie" with Courtney (an amazing human who lets me rant and vent).
My latest Odyssey article links: In Remembrance of Lost Panthers and 14 Signs You Might Be A Hopeless Romantic.
Coming back from working out, Courtney and I started talking about Valentine's Day and I know how excited she gets about that "holiday". She, bless her heart, said that it's a little sad that she doesn't have a valentine to share it with. She'll probably kill me for saying that, but what I said after should make up for it (fingers-crossed!). First thing I said, "You're not alone in that not having a valentine." But the second thing I said is what is important: "enjoy the day for yourself, or be your own valentine".
Many people, myself included, get caught up in the commercialistic aspect of the holiday and end up feeling sad or get the pity looks from your friends in relationships. It's hard not to get caught up in the mess. Our society puts so much emphasis on having a boyfriend or girlfriend or just have someone to spend the day with. And on the of chance, if you don't have someone, society has this way of "trying" to make you feel better about it. I recently realized that, single or in a relationship, you should at least be your own valentine. Instead of wallowing, spend the day doing something you love to do or with people who make you happy/ make you feel comfortable about yourself.
On Parks and Recreation, the girl characters all get together the day before (February 13th) and have brunch and give each other presents. It's Galentine's Day. A day to best with your best girl-friends. Still to this day, it's one of my absolute favorite episodes because of that fact. Not worrying about having a date or getting a significant other or feeling sad you don't have anybody to spend the day with, instead they are spending it together, whether or not you're in a relationship, and enjoying the company.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
