Happy Early Saturday!
And by "early" I mean 12:00am, so I'm basically starting off my day with writing. I hope everyone treated yourself recently. People might think that it's an excuse to spend money; I heartily disagree for a couple of reasons. For one, it doesn't always mean you have to spend money. Someone could be treating themselves by going a on bike ride on a nice day or sitting back and watching a DVD with a friend. For two, we all put up with a lot whether it's in friendships, classes, work, and excreta and it's a way to say, "Hey, I didn't hit anyone" or "Hey, I had a rough day and deserve something for making it through and surviving".
I proudly treated myself to (spontaneous!) 4 Queens run with Courtney and a mocha courtesy of Marcia. And I know I deserve it because I did my best with 2 tests on Thursday and 1 yesterday and those tests all being in my hardest classes. Those tests are partially to blame for this "a little bit" late post. My apologies, readers!
Here's a link to my latest Odyssey article: 5 Hard Life Truths We Need To Be Reminded Of.
Choices. We face these everyday. Should I go class? Should I go out on Thirsty Thursday even though I have a test in the morning? Should I tell her what I heard about her today?
Those choices aren't necessarily life or death situations. What if you knew your best friend's boyfriend was cheating on her? Should you tell her? Or not? Thinking objectively or logically here isn't going to help you decide. Your choices: the option to tell her, the option to wait to see if the boyfriend will say something, or the option to wait and your best friend finds out on her own. Now, she may never know that you knew or she might find out that you knew and didn't tell her. These are all choices.
With choices, there are always reasons why we make that specific choice, whether we know it, don't know it, or know it and afraid to admit it. The point being is there's a why behind your choices. If you ask any high school senior planning on attending college, they could probably tell you where they're going and why, for what reasons. Maybe it's cheaper or maybe they offered an amazing scholarship or maybe they have a specific major.
People are asked the dreaded question: why. "Why did you not tell me that my boyfriend was cheating if you knew? Why? You're supposed to be my friend!" A typical response is "I didn't have any other choice". There's something wrong with that. It's a lie.
"I didn't have any other choice" is a lie. We always have a choice. Choosing not to tell her about her boyfriend's unfaithfulness to her, when your other choice was to tell her, even though you know it will hurt her and she might be angry at you (but she really isn't; it just seems that way). We all have choices; it's just at the time, we didn't have any good choices or couldn't see any other choices.
She isn't wrong. It's easier to accept when you tell yourself "Well, I didn't have a choice" and that makes it okay. That't an easy way to justify your actions and choices. But if you do that, you should remember something. That reflects on you and the kind of person you are. Actions, specifically our choice to do something or not do anything, speak louder than any words can.
Do I realize that sometimes you are caught between a rock and hard place? Yes, I do, but that shouldn't used as a way to excuse your actions. In that situation, you have to make the best choice with what you have to work with. Will it be the right one? I can't tell you the "one size fits all" answer. Because this world isn't black and white, despite how much easier that would make life. Accepting that choice after its made is just as hard as making it. Accepting that with the given circumstances, you made the best choice possible.
Consequences of our choices almost always come back to bite us. There will be some consequences that we realize are possible, but there will be unexpected ones, as well. Your best friend being angry with you after telling her about her boyfriend's unfaithfulness? It's unexpected. Your intentions aren't to hurt her or to be a tattletale on her boyfriend. You believe she shouldn't be treated like this; you believe that she deserves more than a guy who cheats on her; you believe she has the right to know. Those things are what you will need to tell yourself if she is angry with you. Understand that even you are trying to look out for someone, trying to do something good for them, there's a chance it will backfire on you in some way. But you shouldn't let that stop you from making that choice.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
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