Compromise is key (in marriage and) in government

Happy Friday!

Readers. It feels like it's been forever since my last post. That would make sense if I hadn't posted just last Friday... Yeah, it's been a long week. I had three tests/quizzes in three days. Hold up. Not finished quite yet. Also, I have a humanities test on Monday, 9 a.m. At least I have the weekend to study.

Ugh. Sorry for getting side-tracked. Readers, it's Friday. Whatever seems overwhelming now or if there is anything you're worried about, take a break and enjoy it. Unless it's life or death, then of course continue on, but if not, go take a chill pill and relax. 

With the caucuses coming up on Monday, it got me thinking about our government and democracy. This might be an unpopular opinion, but it's something that I believe needs to be said. Democracy in America is hurting, at worst, dying, of infection. A country founded on the idea of a "government of the people, by the people, for the people" (Gettysburg Address; concept originated with John Wycliffe) wasn't thought to last. In American fashion, we didn't give up, and we eventually became an example other countries looked to and proof of democracy can persevere and thrive. But, sometime in the last 239 years, democracy in America seems to be unfavorably changing. 

Today's issue of immigration and border control? New York's Lady Liberty welcomed millions upon millions of immigrants starting in the late 1800's. This country has a past with welcoming people of different countries. I beg the question: what's so different these days that makes us want to force people from coming into the country? They possibly want to come here for a better life, and who are we to deny them that? It seems a little hypocritical to me. 

We elect leaders to represent us, but do they do what they said they would (to get our vote)? Sometimes they do. There are elected leaders in government who try their hardest to get the bills passed they think will benefit or improve the life of this country's citizens. The catch is that there are elected leaders who maybe don't care about the particular issue or don't agree with the proposed plan of action. That's completely fine. It's understandable even, but what's not understandable is fighting over who is right and who is in the wrong and producing nothing. Elected officials seemingly forgot that a key element in running a government (and a good marriage) is compromise. Instead of working together to create a plan that has the promise of helping American citizens, some elected officials forget in order to "win some, you lose some". 

We seem to let our pride or stubbornness blind us and maybe even determine our decisions and actions toward others. Just because you believe something different from the person sitting next to you in class or the person sitting across from you on the bus doesn't determine whether or not you can get along or be friends. If we, as citizens, can learn to accept that people and their beliefs could be different from ours and the elected government officials work together to improve the quality of life of this nation's people, we are definitely on the right track to reviving what the founding fathers's vision of democracy they wanted for this country.

Until next week,

Thought of the day

5 lessons I've learned from watching Parks and Recreation

Happy Friday!

Finally is right. It's Friday once again. If you haven't treated yourself yet today, then go do it right now, but please wait until you finish reading this post. What if I have already treated myself today? Good for you, and you could do it again (because you probably deserve it).

It's been a stressful week. After my last class today, I felt emotionally, physically, and mentally tired. I don't know what's going on with me lately. Maybe I'm experiencing "the sophomore slump". I do have good news. Recently, I began thinking more seriously about my education and the many opportunities I have. With my major, I have the option to study photography in Italy which combines my love for taking pictures and my love and wish to travel. The only catch is money, but I would love to see there are any scholarships available to apply for and would seriously consider seizing this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Also, I been thinking about attending graduate school to get a Master's in library science since I love libraries and the books in them. I'm not quite sure of the emphasis in library science I would pursue. So many opportunities that it overwhelms me. 

 My latest Odyssey article: 16 Reminders for 2016.

If you have been reading my posts, you would know I recently started watching the show "Parks and Recreation". The documentary-like show follows the Parks and Recreation department in Pawnee, Indiana. My first impression of the show was that it wasn't to be taken seriously and it would be a just-for-fun show. 

But I was wrong, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I've learned many new lessons and reinforced what I already know. I highly recommend watching the show: it will make you laugh and teach you something in the process. 

1. Treat yo self. 

In this episode, Donna and Tom set aside one day that they call "Treat Yo Self". They go out and buy everything as a treat to them. The show exaggerates the actual lesson. You need to treat yourself every now and again. How you do that is obviously up to you, but you should do this to reward yourself just because.

2. Adulting sucks sometimes.

April is right. Being a responsible adult sucks. Sometimes we just want to have our moms make us better when we are sick. Sometimes we just want to sit and pout because we didn't get what we want. Sometimes we have to refine from buying something we really want because we are saving up to go on a trip or buy an updated car. Sometimes we have to be the better person when others are acting like a jerk. But what makes adulting worth it? We (not me yet) get to buy alcohol.

3. You are never alone.

Learn to spend time by yourself. Find something you love doing on your own. When it seems as if there is no one there, there is. YOU. You'll always have yourself. A couple words of caution, though: never lose all of yourself in someone because the reality is that people leave and you'll be left wondering who you are and who you were before they came into your life. There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. You can be surrounded by people yet still feel alone.

4. Caring too much can be harmful.

Stay with me on this one. Kind-hearted people, my mom for example, always think of others before themselves. Always put others' needs before their own. And when asked about they want, they usually don't know what to say because they always spend time putting others wants before their own. It's often we don't realize all they sacrifice for others. And these kind-hearted people get so used to putting themselves last that they forget to think about themselves, and that's mentally harmful. 

5. In every joke, there is a little bit of truth.

I'm fairly sure I've heard of this before from someone or something. Jokes, sarcasm, wit all are used as a cover, to protect us from feeling the full effect or not wanting the other person know just how much you actually like them. We hide behind the jokes because it's easier and you don't want to face what's really going on. The more jokes, sarcasm, or witty remarks you hide behind only end up biting you up in the end,

 There are many others, many, many others, but those are the ones that stood out to me. 

Until next week,

Thought of the day

 

Formal dancing isn't hard, you just need the right partner

Happy Friday!

Guess what? I have some truly fantastic news for you. Want to hear it? You, yes, you might not have won the powerball, but you did survive the work week or for college students, the first week of the semester a.k.a syllabus week!

And you know what that means? Three words (two, technically): Treat yo' self. Me? I got myself some Panda Express and plan on binging on Parks and Recreation after I get done with this post. 

There are congratulations in order for a couple of couples. Recently, my best friend, Emily Boyd got engaged to her boyfriend Logan Bradley. It was absolutely precious! I better be at the wedding, so I can flirt with all the single guys and fail because I would be too chicken to approach them, but mostly I want to be able to tell you (Em and Logan) and everyone else how happy I am for you two and wish you guys the very best. And that if Logan hurts her, he'll have many people to answer to, specifically me. No pressure.

Also! My cousin, Sarah Nachtman got engaged to her boyfriend, Brian Buehler. I can't wait to hear the proposal story (I'm a sucker for those) behind it! At least I will be able to legally drink (I turn 21 this December! ...yikes?) by time the wedding happens, but in reality I can't wait to share in the day with you two. I have only met Brian a couple of times and one of those times was playing Wii bowling, and I can tell you that he's a good sport when he loses, just like the arguments he'll lose against Sarah. I'm kidding, Brian...only a little bit. He likes Panda Express, so that's a win for him. 

The first week is always stressful to me. It's the professors telling you, "Hey, here's all you have to do in 16 weeks: two big projects, four exams, ten quizzes, and five three-page papers." And your reaction is to sit and stare, trying not to cry. Another thing is that you would haven't got a routine down yet, which I'm all about routines. I'm trying to just take each day as it comes, and I'll eventually find my routine.

One of the classes I'm taking this semester is Ballroom Dancing. Okay, before you start your laughing fit or give me a strange look, let me explain a few things. One, I wanted to try Yoga, because I believed it would help me with strengthen my muscles in a different way and it would also help me with my anxiety and stress levels with learning to calm myself. Two, the Yoga class closed right as I tried to register for classes. So I had to rearrange my schedule yet again, and the others options seemed too intense for me. My thoughts were that if I couldn't get into that class, why not do something that will pay for itself later; answer: ballroom dancing.

I will be honest that I didn't take the class as seriously as I usually take my classes. Yesterday, I had my first taste of actual formal dancing. And it was way more intricate and complicated and serious than I thought. We started with the dance that is most known: the Waltz. If you don't know, this dance is between someone who leads and someone who follows. Makes sense so far? Good. Stay with me; I'll make my points soon enough.

So, my professor asks who will be which role, I immediately volunteer to be the follower. In unfamiliar territory such as formal dancing, Melissa was like, "Play it safe! Yes! I can be a follower!" So I did. But the thing about following? You have to be willing to have someone lead you. My partner literarily told me those exact words, "You have to let me lead." It didn't strike me until later what that meant. I'm so used to being the leader, consciously or unconsciously, and therefore, in control, and when I am forced to let someone have control, or share it, it's so very hard for me. This is one of the three lessons, so far, and reasons why this class will be beneficial to me: letting someone lead me for a change and/or let go of some control. 

Then in the middle of class, my professor threw me (and a few others in the class) for a loop when she said we couldn't look at our feet anymore. I was like, "WHAT?! But how will I know when to step and where to step??" It didn't occur to me until later what this meant. I had to just go with what my gut told me and hope that it will be right. Instead of thinking and worrying if I got the steps right, I need to just feel and let things happen as they do. It shouldn't be a surprise, knowing my anxiety and stress and OCD-tendencies, but it was hard and it will continue to be hard for me. Lesson/reason number two: forcing me to learn how to just do something by feeling instead of always thinking.

The third lesson I realized during class combines reason number one and two: a good dance partner is like someone who you are in love with and intend to marry someday. Why? You need someone will take the lead when you are scared, but you need to be willing to let that person to take control. Sometimes the roles are reversed and you need to be the leader. 

It's only the first week of the class, and look what I've learned from it. Also, this will pay for itself when I go to Emily and Logan's and Sarah and Brian's weddings! Ha. Clear the dance for me to show off. 

Until next week,

Thought of the day

 

There's a difference between "I love you" and "I'm in love with you"

Happy Friday!

Once again, you have made it through another week! Sadly for many college students, it's their last week of break, and classes resume on Monday. And you know what you should do, treat yourself; it's cheat day after all.

This week my life consisted of work, sleeping, and Parks & Recreation binging. While I will admit that I want another week of break, I'm ready to get back on schedule again. I can tell you right now that this will be a short post today, because I'm exhausted for some reason and hungry.

Here's the link to my latest Odyssey online article: Grades Do Not Define Who We Are.

For many big stores, the Valentine's Day flowers, chocolate, teddy bears that say "I love you", and candy was already put out shortly after Christmas or New Year's Day. My dad had the perfect reaction to this: what the frick? Anymore Valentine's Day lost the original meaning behind the day and now has become so commercialized that's it's a cliché and ridiculous holiday. 

To me, this day is sort of pointless because you shouldn't tell the special someone how much you love them and appreciate them for all that they do for you, etcetera only on February 14th. It's something I believe someone should do everyday but not going all out, obviously. I do get it if you want to do something a little out of the ordinary, but it bothers me when people go all out on this day. If I see people do that, it feels like they are trying to make up for all the times they missed out on. 

What I look forward to is that day after V-Day when all the chocolate and candy are all reduced prices.

A friend asked me for some relationship advice because they thought they still might have feelings for an ex-significant other, while, at the same time, starting to date and have feelings for another person. I told them, "I believe there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. People often don't realize this for whatever reason." My friend eventually figured it out and thanked me for the advice.  

"I love you." Loving someone can apply to sibling relationships, parent-child relationships, friend-to-friend relationships, romantic relationships, and etc. This is more of an emotion or feeling.

"I'm in love with you." Being in love with someone is different. You are being specific. You are telling that one person that you have fallen for them. You are in a state of being. Which is being in love with that person.  

 Until next week,

Thought of the day

 

 

 

 

 

Stop always waiting for the other shoe to drop

Happy Friday!

and

Happy New Year!

Hello from me in 2016! I hope everyone enjoyed the journey into the new year. Let's hope people were smart when (and if) they drank to find another way to get home so there were little to no accidents due to drunk drivers. 

The Iowa Hawkeyes are letting the Stanford Cardinals run all over them in the Rose Bowl. After the third touchdown in the 1st quarter, we decided to watch something better than the crap show. I apologize if any of my readers are Hawkeye fans but they are not playing the best.

Not much is new in my life since the last time I posted. I will be going back to UNI on Sunday to work next week. Spending time with family is nice but sometimes there's a point when a person spends too much time with them. Similar to a family vacation: on the way to the destination is (usually) the fun part, but on the way back, everyone is usually sick of each other.

Here's the link to the latest in the Odyssey articles I've written: Cats Are Jerks During the Holidays and Being Single During the Holidays, As Told By Tina Fey And Amy Poehler. 

OH! Before I forget, I checked my final grades and I earned two A's, two A-'s, and one B+ which is a 3.74 GPA for the semester. After screwing myself over scheduling 2 humanities courses with all the reading that came with them, I'm proud of the grades I got. Was it worth all the stress? Maybe. Yes and no. It's up for debate.

Onto to today's topic. This is something I've noticed that I do and I imagine that there are others out there who are guilty of this. It's something that, once in the habit, can be hard to get out of the habit of doing. 

Living life always waiting for the other shoe to drop

Hi, my name is Melissa Curtis, and I'm guilty of living like this. When something good goes right (or the way you wanted/hoped it would) or someone comes into your life that you instantly know will change your life for the better and after coming down from your high, you stop to wonder, "Now what will go wrong for me?" 

Cinderella didn't. Her shoe slipped and she kept on running. I think what happens is that we recognize a pattern in our lives that when something we get something really wanted and then an event happens that makes us wonder why we get our hopes up in the first place. But what we fail to see is that up and down pattern we experience what life is. It's a rollercoster that is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and any other sudden changes in direction. To be fair, it's easy to get caught up in our day to day lives and forget that.

I don't have any special advice or words of wisdom. Why? This is something I'm still trying to figure out for myself. If you have some advice, I would be all ears.

Until next week,

Thought of the day

  

Feeling 20 and ready for a new year and new resolutions

Happy Friday!

If you're reading this, you survived part one of the holiday season, and that is awesome. Go get yourself something for making it this far. 

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Boxing Day! Happy what ever you celebrate, if you celebrate this time of the year!

This is my last blog post of 2015. So, I would briefly like to reflect about what this blog has done for me, what I learned, what this writing means to me and for other people. Kerra (my current roommate and future housemate!) sort of inspired me with her own blog to create my own. It took awhile to get the general layout and sometimes the topics were a little hard for me. This blog taught me that the "best way to cure writer's block is to keeping on writing even if you end rambling about how your cat likes to meow at random objects." Okay, so that never happened to me (at least, not yet...), but the point still stands. Keep on writing even if it doesn't make much sense. Recently, a friend from high school and who I talk to on a semi-regularly basis in collage pointed something out to me about my last post. He sent me the actual quote I was referring to, and he thanked me for writing my posts. Starting out (and for the future), I didn't care how much my posts were read; all I cared about is being able to write what happens to be on my mind that week. Thank you from my heart for reading! It means so much to me.

Yes, as the title suggests, I turned 20 on Monday. When friends and family ask me what I want for Christmas and my birthday, I never know what to say because I have everything I need/want: supportive, loving, sarcastic family and friends. The rest is replaceable if lost or destroyed, but the wonderful people in my life are not. From birth, to age 10, to age 20 (respectively), there have been many people coming and going from my life and there are many people in my life consistently and there are many people in my life currently. I'm grateful for each and everyone of them because they have knowingly or unknowingly shaped who I am today. Thank you, everyone.

With 2015 coming to a close and 2016 looming around the corner, many people are split: reminiscing all the good and bad about the year and looking ahead to the new year for all the changes we wish to implement. I don't think we think how much we do this. Perhaps you realized you aren't happy with the way you look, so you decide you want to eat better or walk 20 minutes in the morning. Perhaps you realized you haven't enjoyed the smaller and often go unnoticed moments, so you decide to slow down and take a deep breath of everyday life.

Reminiscing and looking ahead is in itself a paradox. Usually we do either one or another. For some, we live our lives always looking ahead or always looking behind or some even live their lives looking ahead to keep up and only looking back for guidance or past experience when we need advice. No matter how you live your life, it's almost impossible to not think about the past and look forward around the holidays. 

My challenge for you is to stick to your resolutions for more than just 2 weeks and incorporate the change into your day-to-day life. 

Until next time,

Thought of the day

 

Save one person; it doesn't matter if that person is yourself

Happy Friday!

Well, it's once again Friday. After the long week we have all had, we deserve a treat. 

I, as well as all other college students, definitely deserve a break after finishing finals and surviving the week from hell. Granted, there are many other students who had way worse week with tests, presentations, projects, speeches, etc.

FINALLY. I'm home with my kitty, my family (Rachel comes home tomorrow! EEK), the holiday decorations are up, holiday food will soon be made. There really is nothing else like coming home especially during the holidays. No classes, no homework, no studying. Or in other words, no stress.

Here's the link to my latest Odyssey article: An Open Letter to My Future Children. There is an error, but it's already been published. 

I can't remember where I saw this quote but it touched me in a way that it opened my way of thinking. So of course, I needed to find the quote, but I couldn't find it to my disappointment. It went a little like this: "Save someone. Just save one person. It does not matter if that one person is yourself." We often underestimate our actions when it comes to helping out others. We love to try to save everyone when in reality we are the ones drowning and needed saving. Family and friends try their best to help us, but we need to save ourselves. It's easy to become reliant on others to save us. If the only person you end up saving is yourself, then you succeed.

Some say that to save others, you must first save yourself. This is not true. Far from it actually. By doing the little things, saying the right set of words at the right time, etc., we don't always realize the effect that can have on someone's day, mood, life, and so on. And sometimes it's through saving someone else that we save ourselves or figure out a way to save ourselves. 

Until next week,

Thought of the day