Marriage isn't scary when you have a great partner in crime

Happy Jump for Jelly Beans Day!

Well, it was this or Happy National Chili Dog Day... :)

First, take a deep breath. Not only have you have made it through another work, but also you made it through the month of July. 

Pause for a little pleasure. Like dancing or eating your guilty pleasure (come on, everyone has one) or maybe just relaxing in the A/C.

A quick update with my life before I get to today's topic. The countdown until school starts tomorrow (Aug. 1st) which means I need to get my textbooks. This summer feels as if it has flown by and took forever at the same time. Weird feeling. 

Anyway, the changes in my life. I have officially changed my major to Interactive Digital Studies. This is a relatively new major at UNI. Changing my major was a huge decision for me. It started in the early weeks of my freshman year. I was fortunate in that I had wonderful people who helped me through this change. The reason why I waited almost a year to make it official is because I wanted to see if I still felt that Graphic Design just wasn't my mug of coffee (I love coffee...just not straight black coffee) by the end of the school year. 

And I did feel that way. Maybe this change will give me a chance to see where my talent lies. Or maybe this will not be as great as I had hoped. Either way, I felt the change was necessary for me to grow.

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In honor of my parents' 32nd wedding anniversary yesterday, I would like to talk about the word that gets thrown around too often. The word, I believe, is used too often taken lightly. This eight-letter word has the power to make some men and women run the other direction. 

Marriage

Yes, marriage. A quick statistic: in America, there is one divorce approximately every 36 seconds (as found on this link). Shocking. In the time I figured out what I wanted to type next, there have been roughly two divorces. 

To me, that doesn't seem likely. Why? Almost all of the marriages I have witnessed or been told about are still intact. My parents, both sets of grandparents, aunts and uncles with their respective significant others, cousins with their respective marriage partners. Of the family friends' marriages I witnessed, I believe they are still together. That's only to name a few. 

The definition of marriage is, as found in the Oxford Dictionary, "the legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or, in some jurisdictions, two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship." 

People forget that once you're married, it doesn't mean the aspects of a relationship are the same. If anything, the aspects of your relationship are intensified. The bond between you and your partner should be stronger. The love between you and your partner should be greater. 

When asked the question, "What made you realize that you could spend the rest of your lives together? Were you scared at all?" Zelmyra and Herbert Fisher, a couple who were married for over 86 years(!), gave the answer "with each day that passed, our relationship was more solid and secure...There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other and our family."

Marriage advice from Ann and John Betar: "Marriage isn't a lovey-dovey thing, y'know, for 80 years," Ann says. "You learn to accept one another's way of life. Devote your time to understanding one another."

That's what seems to be happening these days. When life gets a rough or broken, people walk away or "throw the marriage" away. Young adults, teens, and children growing up now are learning that side of marriage. Maybe that's why people don't want to get married. Because if that's what being married means, they don't want any part of it. Another reason is people don't believe in what it means to be married anymore. Or it seems as if marriage is becoming like most everything is these days: a race or competition.

But, Melissa, sometimes marriages don't work. 

Yes, that's true. Sometimes two people are just not compatible. Sometimes two people take the initiative to admit there is something wrong and go to marriage counseling. Sometimes people do all they can and it just doesn't work out.

Marriage is scary, but the good thing is you are not going through it alone. 

Until next week,

 

Thought of the day