Why does it take a tragedy to bring people together?

Happy Friday!

Well, another week in the books. This week wasn't as stressful as last week, but there have been many other issues that have stressed me out. But, as you can probably can tell, I'm still here and breathing and surviving.

I hope all is well with all my readers. Before I get today's topic, I want to take a moment to tell you thank you for reading my blog. It doesn't matter to me if it is one post or all my posts; every little bit counts to me.

Here is a link to my latest article with The Odyssey Online. 

What I want to talk about today is something I talked about a few posts ago. This topic is something that I feel strongly about, and if you can't handle it, please feel free to stop reading. It won't hurt my feelings; I would understand if you felt the need to stop. 

I was completely speechless when I heard. Even right now, as I type this, I am still shocked. It's hard to type this, but I would like to talk about the serious tragedy that suicide is. 

On Wednesday, a tragedy struck the UNI family. Caitlyn Burns, a freshmen, took her own life by hanging herself in her room. 

Can you imagine being the roommate, who was her best friend from high school, finding her body? Can you hear the screams? Can you picture the distraught and disbelieving look on her face?

Can you imagine being the twin brother and finding out that your literal other half killed herself? Can you hear the silent tears flowing down his face? Can you imagine what's going through his mind right now?

Can you imagine being the resident assistant of the floor and finding one of the girls you were supposed to help and be there for? Can you blame her if she doesn't want to be an RA anymore?

Can you picture the person who had to call her parents and tell them that their happy college girl killed herself? Can you picture that person cursing their job at that moment?

Can you? Because I can.

I didn't know her, but does not mean it hurts any less nor does not mean it is any less tragic. She still was a beautiful human. She was another person who most likely felt she couldn't take the pain anymore. 

Honestly, I wonder how many suicides it will take for people to realize that mental illness is real and is not something people make up. I wonder how many suicides it will take for people to realize that it is not okay to say hurtful things or make jokes about mental illness. I wonder how many suicides it will take to change the people who believe that taking your life is the cowardly way out of life.

After this news blown up on social media, UNI came together as a family and supported each other. (Just another reason that reassures me that I chose the right college.) It didn't matter how well you knew her; the only thing that mattered is that you were there and supported one another through this. 

The biggest question that has been on my mind ever since I heard the news: why does it take a tragedy to bring people together? I posed this question to a friend of mine. She said that this is how society works most unfortunately. And she's right on both counts. This is how society works, and it's wrong. We don't always realize that we are going through our own versions of Hell. We need to come together as a society to be there for each other in any way we can. 

I ask only this of you. 

• Go tell your friends you love them and appreciate them. 

• Go call your parents and tell them thanks for all they did for you and you never meant "I hate you" when you said it. 

• Go call your grandparents and ask how their day went and respond with how you are doing. 

• Go call your siblings and tell them how much they mean to you. 

• Smile or compliment a complete stranger. You just might make their day.

Caitlyn, may you finally be a peace now. See you again. 

You are never alone. 

Whatever you need, we'll be there for you however we can.

Until next week, 

Thought of the day

Spontaneity is the spice of life

Happy Frid- Saturday!

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Well, Grumpy Cat, you try working on weekends. Good? 

If you are a follower of my blog, then you would know that this post is a day late. My day yesterday didn't allow me the time to write my post for the week. Better late then never, right?

This was a stressful week. I had three exams this week: two on Tuesday and one on Thursday. 

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I feel like my professors got together and planned it that way (not really, but the image is funny). Of the grades I do I know of, I did well on both my exams on Tuesday and I have yet to hear about the latest exam. Fingers crossed I did well.

Here is my latest The Odyssey Online article link. 

To be completely honest, I have clue what I'm going to write about in this post. An idea has suddenly came to mind and I'm just going to roll with it before I lose it.

A little preface to the topic: this is something I am actively trying to do more of because, if you know how I am, my brain is too analytical for my own good sometimes (re: all the time). I forget that saying, "spontaneity is the spice of life," 

I don't think I'm the only person who faces this issue. We, as a society, tend to get too caught up in our routines and planning our lives out that we forget to do anything spontaneously or just because. All actions are driven to profit or benefit us in some way or another. While that is an important observation to point out, it doesn't necessarily make it right or true.

In a previous post, I talked about how we are living in a fast-paced world where we want everything done and we want it done now. I won't go into detail about the reasons as to why I believe that, but I will say that we forget that saying, "Spontaneity is the spice of life." A possible reason we don't like spontaneity is because of the myth commonly assumed that it has to be big, grandeur gestures events or activity. A lesson I have learned from experience is that it rarely means big, showy gestures; instead, it, most of the time, means the smallest gestures or surprises means more. To quote a favorite TV show of mine, "It's the little things." Yes, big surprises or gestures are nice but are not idealistic for real life sometimes.

Spontaneity is one of those rare things that applies to every aspect of our lives: marriage, dating, friendships, work, family, children, and everything else.

Maybe, instead of planning an almost routine date night where you two go out to dinner and then a movie, you try something you both have never done before.

Maybe, instead of having a boring Sunday afternoon-in, go for a surprise day-trip some unknown destination or let your head do the directing for you rather than the GPS.

Maybe, instead of the weekly dinner with a college-friend, go out roller-skating.

Maybe, instead of the traditional family Thanksgiving food and activities, do something completely unrelated to Thanksgiving.

Maybe send flowers to your significant other just because or call your mom to just talk about anything or wish a stranger on the street a happy birthday.  

What people forget about being spontaneous is that it doesn't have to happen all the time or become routine; then it loses the fun and a little surprise aspect. And maybe we forget to be spontaneous because it is not a part of a routine. That's a valid reason, not to be confused with the word "excuse". Maybe make it a goal to be more spontaneous .

 Reasons to be more spontaneous: fun, easy, and inexpensive.

Until next Friday,

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Thought of the day

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A moment of silence is when one hears best

Happy Friday! 

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Once again it is finally Friday. So give yourself a pat on the back for surviving. While some people find this stupid, it does serve as a reminder that you are here and surviving by doing the best you can.

A quick update on my life: I have another article for you all to read - 500 Words on Stress and Anxiety. Early into the semester my allergies acted up terribly, and now they are making an appearance again. (Apparently, they love making me feel miserable.) For all you visual learners, just picture me trying type while sneezing every 10 minutes and sniffling every other second. For all you audio learners, ah, so not going there right now.

School/classes are stressful as they usually are in the first couple of weeks (re: all semester), but I'm pushing through as best I can in the way I know how.

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Stressed is desserts spelled backward

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

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For the day job slave drivers: you made it through another work week. For most college students: you made it through the second week of the semester (only 14 more to go!) For retired folk: you made it through another week of doing whatever the hell you want. 

In my last post, I mentioned a great writing opportunity with the Odyssey @ UNI. Also I mentioned I applied and waited to hear back. And I have heard back.

I am now a published writer with the Odyssey @ UNI!

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That gif does not do justice to my reaction to this news. When I found out, my day was going about as well as a fish's attempt to climb a tree or in other words it was a definite struggle bus day. But when I found out I got the position as writer with UNI's chapter of The Odyssey, it literally made my day. That doesn't mean I didn't have any more struggles or challenges; it meant that when those struggles happened, I remembered "You are a writer for the Odyssey @ UNI." Yay for progress!

Here's the links to the two articles that are published: Dear Freshmen, Sincerely: Someone Who Knows and 5 Reasons to Visit the Rod Library.

But, Melissa, since you are writing for The Odyssey @ UNI, will you still keep writing blog posts?

Answer: have no fear! I will keep blogging. Like I said when I first started this blog in May, this is where I get to writing about my personal life and whatever I want to. I don't feel guilty talking about my personal life.

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Now onto the post topic. Today, there is a growing population of college students (myself included) experiencing anxiety, stress, depression, and the like. In 2014 article from the Iowa Center for Public Affairs, it states from a 2013 survey showed 14.6 percent of UNI students received services, and the national average is 15.6 percent; UNI students ever diagnosed with depression is the same national percentage at 18.6 percent. 

Recently a professor confided in me that many students are experiencing/suffering from anxiety and related topics. This really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. Why? We are putting an extreme amount of pressure on students in this day in age. 

Students are expected to do all the readings, write all the (sometimes) pointless papers, study for that comprehensive final, and participate in that group project where there is only one person doing all the work for (generally) five classes.

Oh! And students are expected to get involved in many organizations which require about three hours a week.* 

Anybody feeling stressed just reading that? I do. 

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*Not including: making the time to hang out with friends, making the time to check in with parents or siblings, if the students want to get A's or their definition of good grades, working to pay what financial aid didn't cover, or if the students are questioning if the major they declared is right for them anymore. 

Um, Melissa, don't they have to learn how to manage their time?

Yes, they do. But when everything is overwhelming to the point of them going back to their dorm room after class and crying because they feel so alone and stressed, there is clearly something else going on. 

And if you don't agree with me, then I guess you are entitled to own opinion, however wrong it is. 

Not only is anxiety and depression is affecting students, but also the faculty including professors, instructors, and so on.

As someone who suffers from anxiety, here are some options for those who are scared out their minds.  

*Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, professor, etc. Let them know what's going (not many people have the ability to read minds).

*Make an appointment with your on-campus health center. Be proactive!

*Let your professors know about your anxiety. Most of the time, the professors are understanding and will likely help you in any way they can.

*Find a cheesy saying or quote to repeat to yourself when you are feeling stressed. (Trust me on this one. It's something I'm working on.)

*Plan out your weeks. Make time to study, eat, shower, got to class, do homework. Set aside an hour or two a week to take a break from life.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

REMEMBER THAT.

Until next Friday,

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Thought of the Day

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