Happy Friday!
Fellow college students and professors, I hope you are surviving finals week or the beginning of it... And to the rest of my readers, I hope your Friday went as well as it could have.
This might come as a surprise but I'm actually writing this post on Friday. But I can already tell that this post isn't going to be very long because finals and I want sleep. This week was busy, long, and a struggle to get through. My one bright side that really helped me get through was I got hired as a student assistant with Rod Library Public Relations. So yay me!
Here's the link to my latest Odyssey article: 15 Animals Gifs To Get You Through Finals Week.
To all the people who don't feel enough:
I understand. And when I say that I understand, I mean it. I've been there. In fact, I face this feeling every day in way or another. So I'm here to tell you a few things.
First off: You. Are. Enough. Please listen to me when I say that you are worthy and you have worth. I know it's hard to believe it because you could give me so many reasons, so much evidence or proof as to why you don't believe in your worth. So when you happen to screw up or fall apart, you start connecting all the times it's happened before and you start to think you aren't enough. It's natural to feel this way and it's real easy to connect things because then we can make sense of something. But the thing about life is that it's messy and imperfect and most of the time doesn't make an ounce of sense. We are all trying to make it through and most of the time we don't know what we are doing; people just don't admit to this or don't realize they are even doing this.
Second: you're human. You're allowed to mistakes; in fact, it's even encouraged to make mistakes. You're allowed to feel angry, sad, depressed, happy, anxious, shy, and on and on; and you're allowed to express them. In society, in American society, in particularly, it's assumed that we need to have it together at all times, have your whole life figured out by age 8. And if we falter and break down, it's seen as weakness or "poor them" or "why don't they have their life together". But that's wrong. Everyone has their breaking point, when they don't want to or can't be strong anymore. This isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign you've become exhausted and tired and you needed to let go. Some people plan their life out to a "T" but that doesn't mean you have to do the same. It's okay not have what you want to major in college figured out by the time you are 6 years old.
Third (and lastly): you can't control everything. If there's anything I've learned be being a control freak or perfectionist, it's that it gets exhausting and you'll burn yourself out real quick. And herein lies the problem, you can't be everything, do everything, and try to stay sane in the process. Something's got to give, and more often than not, it's your sanity that is lost and then you panic because nothing's going right and feel that everything and your life is out of control. While that might seem dramatic, for some people, I just described an everyday struggle they face. The simple fact is there are only very few things we have control over: our words, our body language, how we react, and what we do. Basically, I just described that you have control over you and your actions. Once you start letting go of what you can't control, you'll find it's easier to see the beauty in the world and it's easier to breathe it all in without the feeling of the whole world on your shoulder.
While I could go on, this feels like a good place to stop. Three things you need to repeat to yourself: "I am enough," "I'm only human and it's okay to not to be okay," and "I can only to do so much and that's okay". Is this a cure all? Nope, but it's a good place to start.
Signed,
Someone who's struggling, too.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
Happy Saturday!
I hope everyone got to enjoy the nice weather we are having. Whether it's a nice walk or bike ride or an early morning run, it would be a good way to treat yourself and get some vitamin D and maybe you can even get a slight tan.
Yes, I realize that it is Saturday, and I usually post on Fridays. I swear that I started this yesterday. With "dead week" coming up next week, I have a group presentation, a paper (already turned in!), two quizzes, and one final exam. So, no, I don't get a "dead week". On the bright side, I only have 3 finals during finals week, but on the not-so-bright side two of those finals are comprehensive. I'm trying to stay positive.
Here's the link to my latest Odyssey article: 5 Lies We Need To Stop Telling Ourselves.
As many of you know, I struggle with anxiety and OCD-like tendencies. Some days are worse than others. Some days I worry about the littlest things, the ones that other people normally don't think twice about. Oh, I couldn't find the book a patron is looking for, I worry. Oh, I have so much to do, I worry I won't be able to get it all done. Oh, my sister is driving back to college, I worry until I get a text that she made it back okay. Oh, a friend is hurting, I worry I won't say the right thing to help with comforting her.
Worrying is exhausting. Worrying is paralyzing. Worrying is panic attack inducing. Did I really lock my door? Not sure, so I better check for the 4th time. Do I really have everything or am I forgetting something? Double check to confirm that, yes, I do have everything. What I've learned is that is not me talking or thinking. It's actually my anxiety talking and taking control of my life. And while some worrying and stress is necessary to keep you motivated, but there comes a point when the worrying and stress and anxiety takes over your life and you may or may not realized it.
We need to take back our minds. We need to tell anxiety, "I acknowledge and understand your thoughts, but here's what we are actually going to do." We shouldn't suppress it or ignore it, because, one way or another, anxiety will find come back with vengeance. Is this easy? Hell no. I'm trying and trying and some days I succumb to what my anxiety tells me. Those days are harder to get through. What helps? It's more of a who. Your friends and family, the people who see you for the real you, who know when you're struggling against your anxiety and tell you, "You are enough," "You are winning," and "You are not a failure". Those people who inspire you to want to slowly learn how to acknowledge and understand what your anxiety is telling you but ignoring it and go with your gut. It's those people who are your own personal cheering squad.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
Happy Early Saturday!
And by "early" I mean 12:00am, so I'm basically starting off my day with writing. I hope everyone treated yourself recently. People might think that it's an excuse to spend money; I heartily disagree for a couple of reasons. For one, it doesn't always mean you have to spend money. Someone could be treating themselves by going a on bike ride on a nice day or sitting back and watching a DVD with a friend. For two, we all put up with a lot whether it's in friendships, classes, work, and excreta and it's a way to say, "Hey, I didn't hit anyone" or "Hey, I had a rough day and deserve something for making it through and surviving".
I proudly treated myself to (spontaneous!) 4 Queens run with Courtney and a mocha courtesy of Marcia. And I know I deserve it because I did my best with 2 tests on Thursday and 1 yesterday and those tests all being in my hardest classes. Those tests are partially to blame for this "a little bit" late post. My apologies, readers!
Here's a link to my latest Odyssey article: 5 Hard Life Truths We Need To Be Reminded Of.
Choices. We face these everyday. Should I go class? Should I go out on Thirsty Thursday even though I have a test in the morning? Should I tell her what I heard about her today?
Those choices aren't necessarily life or death situations. What if you knew your best friend's boyfriend was cheating on her? Should you tell her? Or not? Thinking objectively or logically here isn't going to help you decide. Your choices: the option to tell her, the option to wait to see if the boyfriend will say something, or the option to wait and your best friend finds out on her own. Now, she may never know that you knew or she might find out that you knew and didn't tell her. These are all choices.
With choices, there are always reasons why we make that specific choice, whether we know it, don't know it, or know it and afraid to admit it. The point being is there's a why behind your choices. If you ask any high school senior planning on attending college, they could probably tell you where they're going and why, for what reasons. Maybe it's cheaper or maybe they offered an amazing scholarship or maybe they have a specific major.
People are asked the dreaded question: why. "Why did you not tell me that my boyfriend was cheating if you knew? Why? You're supposed to be my friend!" A typical response is "I didn't have any other choice". There's something wrong with that. It's a lie.
"I didn't have any other choice" is a lie. We always have a choice. Choosing not to tell her about her boyfriend's unfaithfulness to her, when your other choice was to tell her, even though you know it will hurt her and she might be angry at you (but she really isn't; it just seems that way). We all have choices; it's just at the time, we didn't have any good choices or couldn't see any other choices.
She isn't wrong. It's easier to accept when you tell yourself "Well, I didn't have a choice" and that makes it okay. That't an easy way to justify your actions and choices. But if you do that, you should remember something. That reflects on you and the kind of person you are. Actions, specifically our choice to do something or not do anything, speak louder than any words can.
Do I realize that sometimes you are caught between a rock and hard place? Yes, I do, but that shouldn't used as a way to excuse your actions. In that situation, you have to make the best choice with what you have to work with. Will it be the right one? I can't tell you the "one size fits all" answer. Because this world isn't black and white, despite how much easier that would make life. Accepting that choice after its made is just as hard as making it. Accepting that with the given circumstances, you made the best choice possible.
Consequences of our choices almost always come back to bite us. There will be some consequences that we realize are possible, but there will be unexpected ones, as well. Your best friend being angry with you after telling her about her boyfriend's unfaithfulness? It's unexpected. Your intentions aren't to hurt her or to be a tattletale on her boyfriend. You believe she shouldn't be treated like this; you believe that she deserves more than a guy who cheats on her; you believe she has the right to know. Those things are what you will need to tell yourself if she is angry with you. Understand that even you are trying to look out for someone, trying to do something good for them, there's a chance it will backfire on you in some way. But you shouldn't let that stop you from making that choice.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
Happy Saturday!
I hope everyone has been well since I've posted last. Yes, I realize today's Saturday and I missed my usual Friday post. With three tests (in my hard classes, no less) this week, and two of them being on the same day, and a paper due, I prioritized creating flashcards and getting the paper done over my blogpost.
But after all my tests and general craziness, my sister will be coming to see me next Saturday! I will be holding onto that to get me through this week.
Society and other (older) generations began associating the word ‘stress’ to ‘college students’; it is almost as if they are bound together, or the cliché “you cannot have one without the other”. With almost two years experience, I know it to be true. Trying to balance classes, homework, work, clubs/organizations, studying, social life, and family time is (and continues to be) something I struggle with. Sometimes I say that I think I have a good balance, and then something random happens and suddenly I question myself if I really ever had a balance. While watching this documentary titled "Stress: Portrait of a Killer", it enlightened me in ways I had not thought about before and opened my eyes to what might be happening to my body and those close to me without me realizing it.
Probably my first exposure to stress comes from watching my sister and her struggles. When I was about eight or nine, my sister was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. Of course, at the time, I did not understand what that meant, but as I grew up, I slowly began to understand what it was and how it affected her. It did not affect her body really until she went to college. Instead of gaining the “freshman fifteen,” she lost it and then some. In comparison to my college experience, it was quite similar. While my body does not respond to stress by losing weight, there have been many times when I felt like I faced so much stress in just about every aspect in my life and this still happens to me currently. My heartbeat quickens, thoughts are racing, hands are shaking, and sometimes my hands tremble. What I did not realize is how stress affects my body internally, because I only paid attention to what I could see on the outside. Realizing this gives me more motivation to find ways to ease my stress, which could hopefully in turn help me with controlling my anxiety and OCD. Knowing what I do it is opening my eyes to seeing it in others.
I have first-hand experience when it comes to seeing how stress affects others in low positions. When the documentary stated that low submissive positions are usually the most stressed group, I remember nodding at this part. My parents never had the opportunity to go to college, and both my parents worked multiple jobs to be able to provide for my siblings and I. As a little girl, I have a familiar image of my mom hunched over the table with receipts and bills scattered around her, trying to figure out a way to make ends meet money-wise. Now, I’m the same way: always stressing about having enough money to pay my bills.
Stress is the silent killer. We, as a society, have a tendency to overlook or ignore our mental health and its need to be taken care of. Why? A couple of likely reasons are that we cannot see it like we can see a broken leg needs a cast and we do not know how to best treat our mental health when it breaks. But ignoring it will come back to bite us in the end. We strike a balance between the good and bad stress and how to decompress when we are stressed to the point of feeling like we are suffocating.
Until next week,
Thought of the day
Happy Friday!
That's what I'm doing right now. I would be more energetic, but I'm super exhausted at the moment with putting in extra hours at work, classes, and homework. If you haven't treated yourself today, this is your sign to go do it. You survived the week, and that's a feat in and of itself.
A little update of my life: it's getting better. I do have my sucky moments, but I'm slowly re-noticing the little moments again and cherishing those. Shout to someone who's been my rock with all the drama going on in my life: Courtney Post. Thank you for being such a great friend, amazing listener, and being patient with my antics and quirks. Love you, girl!
My latest Odyssey article link: 20 Times "Parks and Recreation" Perfectly Describes College Students.
Sometimes we lie to ourselves and we believe (most of) them. In most of the time, we don't realize we are. The sources of these lies are learned from family, friends, but the biggest culprit is society and the kind of world we live in. Am I saying to blame your friends and family? No, because they are likely doing it unintentionally and passing on what they've learned.
You have to this fabulous and flashy lifestyle.
No you don't. You are who you are, and you don't want that then awesome. Don't get me wrong, because for some they are content with this lifestyle. For others? Not so much. It's about you want and what makes you feel safe and comfortable and happy. If you are content with staying in and watching movies rather than going out to the bars, then you do you.
You have to look a certain way in order to be beautiful.
I can't even begin to explain how wrong this is. We typically learn this one from society and from idolizing celebrities and how they look. The expectations we have for they way men "should" look like is washboard abs, big biceps, strong jaw, etc. The expectations we have for how women "should" look like is flat tummy, big lips, curvy but not too curvy, etc. "Fuck you, society and anyone who tells me that I'm not beautiful. You don't get to tell us what is beautiful and what isn't."
You aren't enough.
WRONG. Dead wrong. Leave it to Maya Angelou to hit the nail on the head. This lie we learn from society. You make mistakes. You have regrets. You are not perfect. We all have darkness in us, but we also have light inside. Let light the shine through. If you have to prove anything to anyone, it should be to prove you are enough to yourself. We all have something that someone else needs. For someone you are not enough, but for someone else you, and just who are, are just want they need most.
P.S. Pay close attention to the "Thought of the day".
Until next week,
Thought of the day
