Readers! It's been a couple of weeks. I hope you are all doing well. It once again is Friday. And I couldn't be happier it is. In this past week or so, I was reminded again that life, the wild ride it is, is short. So, the thing to take away from this: never take the people in your life, especially your family, for granted and let yourself "live" a little once in a while.
Well, school is almost here again. Part of me will welcome the routine again, but the other part of me will not welcome the busyness and craziness that comes with school, classes, studying, work, ex-curricular clubs, among other obligations, especially with it being the start of my second semester of junior year. I need to figuring out what jobs I would like and start looking for jobs.
I'm sorry to my readers that I have not updated in a couple of weeks. My life is increasingly busy with balancing two jobs, five classes, homework and reading, organizations, and other things. I hardly have time to breath, let alone trying to write a blog post. Then I guess I will have to change. I will try to keep posting every Friday; but, on the off chance I get super busy and forget, please know I will update as soon as I can. Your patience is much needed as I navigate the new changes and challenges presented to me due to getting older and closer to graduation.
That being said, I've had many blog post ideas run in and out of my head. Today, I would like to talk about the difference between "looking" and "seeing" and connecting it to the tragedy that happened 15 years ago. As I take my digital imaging class, I'm learning that there's a different between looking at something and actually seeing it. So often we go through our day just looking. If I asked you to describe the person you passed while walking to class or running by, could you? More often than not, you wouldn't be able too. And there's nothing wrong with that. You are likely preoccupied with your task at hand, and your brain can only recognize so much too avoid overloading your senses. Seeing takes a little bit more time and energy. With taking the time to slow down and really take in your surrounds, even if for a couple of minutes, you would be surprised just how much you've missed or never noticed before.
Now, how does this apply or have anything to do with the tragic events that happened 15 years ago today. What usually happens it takes a tragic event or hearing devastating news to get to us to wake up and take notice of our surroundings. You know how it's said it's hard to look away at car crash even though you know you need to but just can't bring yourself to do it? It's the same thing. It's almost as if time slows way down or even stops completely and you're seeing things or scenes for the first time. While I can't remember much, I hear stories from my parents, older siblings, grandparents. My mom? She was at home with me because I was sick. My dad? Sitting down to eat breakfast after getting off his shift at work. It was almost as if their lives were paused and they took the time to notice those around them. In movies we see this so often that we are numb to it or roll our eyes at the cliche. It's true. One of the things Hollywood got right.
Please take some time out of your day and remember those whose lives that were forever changed by that tragic day.
Hello, dear readers of mine! I hope things are going okay since the last time I posted. Did you treat yourself today? If you haven't, go do it. It's Monday; they are hard for everyone. Make it easier to get through by treating yourself somehow. I know I realized that school starts up exactly 3 weeks from now. It's crazy how fast this summer has gone by. I mean I just ordered my textbooks for the fall...not fun.
Happy 33rd Anniversary to my mom and dad on July 30th!
Something that my parents instilled in my siblings and I: be the better person. Now, you can imagine how challenging it can be to tell a child to "be the better person" when someone steals their crayons or juice box and they want to retaliate back. The child will likely want to wonder why they shouldn't turn around and do something in return. "Whhyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?"
Over the years, I asked my mom one time, "Why do I have to be the better person?" She told that someone has to be the "bigger" person, someone to swallow their pride and proudness and move one. I realize that this is a huge lesson. In a world with so much hate and anger, we act irrationally when hurt and make rash decisions fueled with that hurt. When someone does wrong to us or by us, it doesn't mean you have to do the same thing back to that person or someone else. Be the bigger person and stop the cycle of anger and hate. If you "pass it on" and don't be the better person, you are essentially perpetuating, continuing the cycle of hatred and anger in the world.
The way to stop the cycle? Try to be the better person. Now, it's not always easy to be the better person. It takes courage to the bigger person. And you're not always going to be the better person; you're likely to mess up from time to time, and that's okay. But we must always try to be the better person when the time comes.
Hello, readers! I know that I didn't post an update last week and I'm sorry. I wasn't feeling very inspired. Andddd partly, I really want to finish binging NCIS before school starts back up. That reminds me that I need to order my books. Not much has changed in the last two weeks since I posted. Today though, I was on my way to work and, being the klutz that I am, I fell off my bike. But as much as it pained me I got back on and kept going. All I could think was, "I want my mom" and "I hurt all over". So it's safe to say that I probably won't be going on RAGBRAI anytime soon.
This post came to me when I was getting ready for bed last night. Last week, I noticed an abnormality when I snacked on almonds. One of my front teeth is loose. Panicking, I ran to the mirror to see for myself and it was true. Naturally the next thing for me to do was to call my mom and tell her the discovery. I told her how I didn't know how a tooth could be loose. I flossed, brushed, and rinsed my mouth out regularly. She told me to hold on until my next dentist appointment.
You may be wondering, what's the point and are you going to make one? Yes, and here it is: sometimes you can do everything right, follow the steps carefully, and still it wasn't enough or something was screwed up. I thought by doing all the right things by brushing flossing, and rinsing out my mouth that it would prevent me from getting cavities or make me immune to cavities. Maybe not.
For some reason, I have it in my head that if I follow all the rules, follow the instructions carefully and diligently, then I won't get hurt, I will have success, or things worked out like they were supposed to, like I wanted them to, It sounds crazy and irrational but it's something I've noticed about myself. But that's me wanting to control more than I can, more than I should. The fact of the matter it sometimes we can do all the right things, all the things we're supposed to do, and still we lose.
And it sucks. It really does. We forget that we can't control everything and everyone. There's only person (technically three) who can do that and his name is God. We lull ourselves into thinking we have this control over people, situations, things, when in reality we don't. Not by a long shot. There are just some things out of our control. And that's okay. It is. Why? Because when something goes array or you make a mistake, it's a new path, a path you might have never gone down, and that new path set you on a course that changes you, your life, your perspective.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11. God knows our path and how to get us there. We just to let him lead us to it, even when we can't see it.
Finally, it's Friday. Even though it was only a 4 day work week, it felt like the same as my usual 6 day week. But I can't complain about the beautiful weather we are having. Tomorrow, I might go do some shopping or go to the farmer's market. Or I might just stay in and binge watch on tv shows. Either way, it'll be nice. I hope everyone is doing okay. This is your weekly reminder to treat yourself. I don't know how I'm going to treat myself but I will somehow.
I actually started planning this post out on my way home from work today. It's a 20 minute walk; I got to keep myself occupied somehow. I would like to give a little fair warning before I start, because I do know that I have the tendency when telling stories to get overly detailed and forget the point. So you've been warned.
As a freshmen, I took this specific test called StrengthsQuest. It's used–so I'm told–more often in the work world than I might think; it's a series questions designed to measure what your strengths are. At the end, you're given your top 5 along with descriptions of them. Now, my first four strengths made sense, but the last one confused me to no end. It was harmony. Those who know me know that I am not afraid to argue or speak my mind. But as the year continued and still today, I notice that it wasn't a false result and it made sense. I strive for harmony, peace, and calm. It's for this reason that I don't like and actually prefer not to take sides. I don't want to create even more conflict. A reason why I can't commit to one side or not because I likely can understand each of the sides.
Now how does this apply to recent tragedies of shootings involving police officers and people? I don't want to take the sides of anyone. This doesn't mean I don't sympathize with the families and loved ones of those killed. Because I do. Notice how I didn't specify which group. I realize that those of the African American community face a different set of day-to-day challenges. It's hard to put yourself in their shoes because you don't know what they have had to face.
What trips us up is labeling and associating things that don't necessarily have any correlation and taking them and applying them to society. When we start seeing a pattern, we make those associations and apply and compare them to others. Here's a list of generalizations that are common in today's world (I don't condone or agree with any of these–my personal thoughts and feelings do not play a part): all police officers abuse their power; all black people, specifically black men, pose a threat the public; all politicians lie to face their own butts; and others. No, not all police officers abuse their power, but some do take advantage of it. No, not all black people are dangerous, but some can be. Not all politicians lie, but some do. Whether someone lies, poses a threat to others, or takes advantage of their power has nothing to with the kind of clothes they were, nothing to do with the kind of vehicles they drive, nothing to do with how they look. It does, however, have everything to do what's inside, what kind of person they are. We are too blinded by our own thoughts and prejudices and bitterness that we twist reality to fit those firmly accepted concepts, and in the end, fueling the fire within us.
Guns don't kill people. People kill people. We need to start coming together and trying to understand one another; instead of going extreme and straight to violence if someone doesn't agree with you or you don't agree with someone. If not, then violence in the country and even the world will most likely continue to escalate.
It's almost the 4th of July. Exactly 6 minutes until the day. I know this post is a little late. Well, you see, when I got home to visit, I try to stay off my laptop as much as possible because it's a nice break from technology and I find I focus on my family and spending time with them. Right now, mostly everyone are asleep and I finally figured out what I wanted to write about. I know. My brain is fascinating, getting writing ideas and fuel for my post at ten minutes to midnight. Perfect timing. Not really, but you know, when the opportunity strikes, I must take advantage. My fellow writers out there can (maybe) concur.
If you are traveling, drive smart and safely. If you're setting up a fireworks display, please be careful. If you are camping or planning on any other recreational activities, please wear sunscreen (if outside) and reapply as much as possible and enjoy the uncommonly cooler weather for the 4th of July.
Before I got into my post, I wanted to give a couple of birthday shoutouts to a couple of firecracker babies.
First, my brother's godson, Joseph, turned 1 today. I can't wait to see you grow even more. It makes me smile to see your sometimes goofy, but always handsome face. He probably gets that from his mom. Kidding...or am I?
Second, to a very special person in my life and on very special day. Courtney, happy 21st birthday. I'm sorry we couldn't spend the day together, but I look forward to celebrating with you the next time we get together! I'm so glad that whatever force (I believe God had a hand or two in it) lead me to live across the hall from you this past year. It allowed me to come to know you and how beautiful, kind, funny, smart, caring, and wonderful blessing you truly are in my life. Thank you for being there when I needed to vent, let out my worries, laugh until my gut hurts, and sticking by me. You deserve to have a great day!
Dear America (and my fellow Americans),
First and foremost, happy birthday! Even though, you are still a young country in comparison to other countries, you have come a long ways from where you started.
Thank you for fighting the oppressors and earning our independence and title as a free country. An example you became (and still are) to be proof that a democratic republic can hold up and succeed. An example where there is such a place to have basic freedoms that other countries deny to their people. How you allow and welcome people from other countries with the open arms of Lady Liberty in New York Harbor.
As we settled in, we began noticing cracks in the foundation on which you stand. It nearly broke the nation in two. With the determination of many people, we were able to come back together as a country and began rebuilding the country. Of course, this issue is still seen today. It may be hard to believe, but it is most likely true. There's still a long way to go, but I know that when come together as a whole, a united front, there's not much that can hold us back.
Since then, we have seen our country come together time and time again to fight for what we believe in, to fight so that the countless innocent and brave lives did not die in vain, to fight for good to keeping prevailing over the evil in the world, to fight for those who cannot fight, to fight to set an example for those younger generations that we must never give up and to continue to hope and to have the will to keep carrying on even when the going is tough.
I must point out that we have many hurtles in our way. Differences to look past. History to move on from. We are not running a sprint; we're running a marathon. Segregation and hatred towards most, or if not all, minority groups. Childish fighting in congress and between political parties. This country was built on the principle that this is a place, a refuge even, to those different than us. Accepting others' differences is hard. But it's key to surviving as a country.
Yes, it is Sunday. I know this is a couple of days late. Yesterday was beautifully hot out which is why I stayed in and binge-watched NCIS with Dad. Today I'm at work while I write this post. The library is pretty quiet so I should be able to be productive...I hope. When I was outside earlier, it was a little hot but I felt a breeze. It would be a perfect day to go outside and get some vitamin D. Who knows you might even get a tan? Okay, I would fry like a french fry even with sunblock on; you don't have to be out there for that long. An hour or two would be good for your lungs to get some fresh air.
There is reason I couldn't post on Friday. It's something I want to share and talk about. If you don't know already, my mother, Joyce, is a 16 year survivor of breast cancer. Friday night was Delaware County's Relay For Life. This event is jointed with the American Cancer Society and honors and remembers the people whose lives were affected by cancer. So far I have experienced two different county's Relay For Life events, and they were pretty similar. Each included a track for walking/running/jogging, the Survivors Lap, Caregivers/loved ones lap, team laps, luminaries, and other events throughout the the time. Here is a link to learn more about ACS's Relay For Life event and to find the closest one nearest you.
Ever since my mother was diagnosed in 2000, I have been to 9 events to support her and her courageous battle. I was about 4 when my mother received the diagnosis and now I'm 20. So I don't remember much, except what my family tells me. I know it was hard for my mother to balance 3 growing children, a husband, jobs, and then add radiation and chemotherapy treatments. At times she was overwhelmed, frustrated, and wondered why God did this thing to her. But she said then and continues to reminds myself and my siblings to this day that if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. And He did. My mother's faith in the doctors, nurses, family, friends, and many others, and most importantly her faith in God brought her through it. She got to see my siblings and I graduate from high school, my brother and sister graduate from college, and in another year and half, she'll watch me walk the stage and graduate. She will experience her own graduation with an AA degree next spring. She will experience so much more; it's like she got a second chance at life.
This event is something so close to my heart because my mom and other people whose lives have been affected by cancer. Some people weren't as lucky. Some people found out too late and the cancer already took over their bodies. They are the reason why I relay. I relay for my mom. I relay for my grandma. I relay for all the close family-friends who lost the fight to cancer. I relay for those who continue the fight. I relay for those are not able to walk.
Hello, my readers. This might surprise you but I'm actually writing on this on a Friday. I hope all is well with you all. The weather is gorgeous out (I got to eat outside and I didn't want to go back in), which is a plus. I'm going home for the weekend, which is another plus. It is my hope you can go out and enjoy the beautiful weather at some point this weekend. Go get some vitamin D; it's free, but please, if you are like me and burn easily, put some sunscreen on. As far as I know, it's supposed to rain on Monday, so we should take advantage of the beautiful weather while we have it. Because it's Iowa and the weather can change so fast.
Okay, I'm finally getting around to writing this post. Like I have said before, not everyone grew up learning the same exact values, habits, lessons, and etc. At times this can be extremely frustrating. But another factor in the "not everyone grew up the same" is perspective. Particularly in America where the country is practically founded on the idea that everyone is different; everyone will have differing opinions and viewpoints; everyone can disagree and debate; and this is okay, encouraged even.
One of my favorite quotes about perspective is actually from the late Harper Lee's book To Kill a Mockingbird. It's something Atticus Finch tells Scout and she turns around and takes it to heart.
This is why it is so important to try to see the world from another person's point of view. So often we get caught up in our differences and lose sight of what we have in common. This frustrates me about Congress. It seems like all I hear on the news is there is so many bills trying to get passed but none seem to go through because they are spending so much time focusing on the wrong things.
This also happens in every day life too. We get so frustrated when people don't live the way we do, act the way we do, and so on. That's the point. We are wasting time arguing about how people should live, how they should act, when we could be discovering things we might have in common and enjoying learning new things.
My fellow readers! I hope you survived okay this week and yesterday especially. Walking home from work yesterday was hot and humid but luckily the wind blew just enough to make the 18 some minutes bearable. And today it seems to be the same case. So, if you are going outside and will be out for a good chunk of time, please, please, stay hydrated and cool as you can. Also, this shouldn't need saying but it seems to happen every year around this time, please don't keep little kids and pets inside cars when it is this hot and humid out.
I want to give a little shout out to my fellow library co-workers for surviving the first week with a new system to check in/out books, etc. I know it's still new and challenging and patience-testing, but we can do this (with the aid of chocolate). Also, it was quite the surprise to see Ciara, a past library co-worker, yesterday! I literally jumped out of my chair to go give her a (running) hug. So this week was balanced out well.
Life is short. We know this. Or at least we think we know it. When we lose someone close to us and while we are in mourning, we are reminded of an absolute, one of the few things life can guarantee. Life is short. No matter what we do to make us live just a little bit longer, life finds a way. As morbid as that might seem, it's the truth.
But the tricky thing life does, or maybe we do it to ourselves, we find a way out of our sadness and continue to live with the loss. We get lost in our routine of our day to day life, and somehow we forget or take for granted the things and people we love most in our lives. And without meaning to, we let ourselves get comfortable again.
Until it happens again. Someone close to us is taken from us and in some way it remind us of our own mortality. That just like your loved one, your life can end just like their's did. And we repeat the process over again. Now, I'm not trying how to live your life. Life is short, and we can't let routine fool us into forgetting the life is short.
Hello, fellow readers of mine. I hope you enjoyed the weekend like I did. The weather, for the most part, lent itself for people get out and breathe in the fresh air.
There is reason why I am a little late in posting this week. I made the 3 hour trip from Cedar Falls to Spencer, IA to spend the weekend with Courtney before the summer gets me too busy. We went to see a couple of movies; I got to finally meet her parents and her 3 entertaining dogs; Courtney showed me around her hometown of Laurens, IA, and much more! I want to thank Courtney, her mom and dad, and her dogs for letting me stay for the weekend! It was quite an entertaining and enjoyable time.
This post will contain some spoilers for the movie and this post is not a movie or book review.
One of the movies Courtney and I went to was called Me Before You. It was a film-adaptation of the book of the same name which was authored by Jojo Moyes. Now, we knew before going into the movie that will be sad and there would be many tears shed. After? This movie actually left what felt like a gaping hole in my heart and some food for thought.
The movie follows Will Traynor, a man turned into a sarcastically blunt and bitter quadriplegic after being hit by a vehicle, and 20-something, chatty woman, Louisa Clarke, with a quirky sense of style. Louisa is hired to essentially cheer him up and tries to do until she accidentally overhears the news that Will gave his parents 6 more months then he wanted to end his painful life through assisted suicide. She is momentarily set back but her sister inspires her to make his last months filled with bucket-list-like activities. Along the way, in my thoughts, the two opposites attract and fall in love. A part of me thinks she hoped that her efforts could help him change his mind about the assisted suicide. In the end, his mind couldn't be changed.
This is the food for thought. I am not well-researched on the topic of assisted suicide, but here are my thoughts and opinions on this. In the story of Will, his day-to-day life was a painful uphill battle and even the slightest hitch caused an enormous amount of problems. It comes back to the quality versus quantity/quantitative debate. What it comes down to is choice. It's the choice of the person and the quality of life they want for themselves. It's their choice. The loved ones of the person? It's not up to them to make it.
What they can do is support the said person, cherish them, love them. While the loved ones might disapprove and try to convince them to change their mind, the only person who has control over your body is YOU and (should) only be you. I'm not sure if this is something someone has said before or not, so, if it is, I apologize for my ignorance. Love isn't about control. And to love someone means not controlling or trying to control them, make decisions for them. Love is appreciation, not control.
The image I chose, a gif, specifically, perfectly describes how I felt walking out of work today and I'm sure others felt the same way. I probably could have actual ran but I just got off after working a 9-hour day and, boy, I was ready for my 3-day weekend. With that being said, I hope everyone the best in regards to any traveling or camping. Stay safe and enjoy, and for most of you all, the day off. I do realize that some people don't have the luxury to have Memorial Day off, so be courteous to others who might be required to work.
Before I get on with my post for the week, I wanted to give a birthday shout-out to a couple of important people. One being my second-oldest cousin on my dad's side of the family: Sam Curtis. Happy birthday! I hope you enjoyed it! Maybe we can to get together sometime soon. And the other being my aunt Debbie. Happy birthday, Aunt Debbie! I hope you spent the day enjoyably surrounded by loved ones.
Memorial Day is, anymore, became a holiday whose meaning gets overlooked. For many, people look forward to the barbecuing, bonfires, spending time with loved ones, baseball, and etc. It's like the official kickoff to summer. But that's not the meaning of the holiday. That's not why we celebrate it.
It's not even a happy holiday, so to speak. The meaning behind this day is quite sad actually. Memorial Day is a holiday dedicated to those military members killed in actions. That's why it's called "memorial", as in "memory", for those who laid down their lives to protect us, to protect what this country stood and continues to stand for, to protect the freedom we have to live each day knowing that there are brave men and women out there fighting for us.
Thank you, brave men and women across America. Thank you for putting your country before yourself. Thank you for putting everyday people, like myself, before yourself. Thank you for being brave and tough and doing what you think needs to be done to protect this country and what it stands for. Thank you for sacrificing time with your loved ones, like friends and family, to fight and defend. Thank you for your service.
The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and the temperature was on point. In other words, it was practically perfect day. I hope you got a chance to enjoy the beautiful weather. If not, tomorrow's forecast looks to be something like today. Everybody could use a little bit of vitamin D.
It's official! I'm all moved in the house that I'm renting with three other girls. All I need now is to continue to settle in and few other things. "Adulting" at its finest. I get a feeling of accomplishment and growing up, but as Uncle Ben said in Spider-Man, "With great power comes great responsibility." I know I have more bills added to my budget, but for one, this is challenging me to budget my money even more, and for two, it's most definitely worth it to have independence and a place to call my own (or a fourth of, anyway) for the time being.
There are a few people I need to thank before I get to my post. I want to take the time to thank my cousin, Robert, and his girlfriend, Kathy, for housing me last week while the house was being cleaned. I need to thank my aunt, Jan, and another cousin, Sarah, for helping me out with giving me dishes, pots, pans, silverware, bowls, utensils, and more. I need to thank my aunt, Judy, and uncle, Gerry, for hauling all the stuff I got from Sarah to my brother's place. I need to thank my parents and siblings for helping me move in. I'm truly grateful and blessed to have these people in my life.
Since birth, there were expectations for us and of us. We are expected to learn how to speak, how to spell, how to throw a ball, how to act during certain times and at certain places, and others. These are straight forward or implied by parents, siblings, relatives, friends, seemingly random strangers, teachers, law officials and more.
Detailing the purposes for all these expectations are not for me to list because everyone has different motivations or reasons why they set them. In general, though, they are set for safety, efficiency of day-to-day life, motivation, to hold people accountable and more.
We have different expectations for different people in our lives. We expect our friends to have backs and stand up for us when they know we might be wrong. We expect our family to stand by us when times are tough and be there for us when we need help. We expect our teachers to help us learn.
On the other side of the argument, the people in our lives have expectations of us. We must always try to remember that just as we have expectations of others, they have expectations of us.
This, most of the time, is hold the people in our lives accountable. It's good, healthy even, to have expectations, especially high ones. If you're waiting for the but, here it is. But we need to understand and be flexible if someone doesn't meet those high expectations and also we need to need to draw the line when you've reached your breaking point and can't make any more excuses.
